


Baby Don't Cry

by Illeana



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Bloodplay, Bullying, Dom/sub, Drama, Drama & Romance, Flashbacks, M/M, Public Humiliation, Romance, Self-Harm, Slut Shaming, Smut, Triggers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-14 11:27:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 37,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5741980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illeana/pseuds/Illeana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His life was in tatters.</p><p>And he felt nothing.</p><p>Nothing… because he was that shocked that someone he had loved so deeply, someone he thought had returned those feelings with the same depth, had destroyed him both inside and out.</p><p>He left nothing for Kyungsoo to cling to, nothing good in his life at all. And all Kyungsoo could do was stare up at the memories of what was once such a beautiful sinless thing splashed across crowded halls of the school they had once shared.</p><p>And all he could do was blink and stare. He could do nothing more.</p><p>It took a good solid five minutes of perusal before a strong solid pair of arms were enfolding him, pressing his cheek to warm broad chest.</p><p>“Don’t look, Soo. Just… don’t look.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Little Red Strings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys so I updated this a bit and fused the first and second chapter together. Update is coming soon!

_The room felt so small around him. The whispers, the stares, the laughs behind cupped hands, the shame of it all. Kyungsoo felt every ounce. But if he had wanted to scream and cry he wouldn’t have been able to. His voice and words failed him. He could feel nothing but that achingly numb feeling, unable to come up with any appropriate reaction but rather just stood and stared at the calamity before him._

_His life was in tatters._

_And he felt nothing._

_Nothing… because he was that shocked that someone he had loved so deeply, someone he thought had returned those feelings with the same depth, had destroyed him both inside and out._

_He left nothing for Kyungsoo to cling to, nothing good in his life at all. And all Kyungsoo could do was stare up at the memories of what was once such a beautiful sinless thing splashed across crowded halls of the school they had once shared._

_And all he could do was blink and stare. He could do nothing more._

_It took a good solid five minutes of perusal before a strong solid pair of arms were enfolding him, pressing his cheek to warm broad chest._

_“Don’t look, Soo. Just… don’t look.” Chanyeol’s deep, rumbling voice came as he carded his hands through Kyungsoo’s hair._

The same way he’d do for the remaining year of high school and the first two years of college. That hand and the gentle stroke became a great comfort to Kyungsoo, one he couldn’t be more grateful for.

So, when he woke from his bed at 3 in the morning, spine ramrod straight, voice hoarse from use, and body covered in a sickly sweat, it came as no surprise that he folded the covers down and slipped into Chanyeol’s bed as quietly as he could. Yet, as always, Chanyeol was awake and waiting for Kyungsoo to settle in beside him, toying with the ends of his hair, again, like always, until he felt the smaller male drift back into the calm depths of slumber.

Chanyeol waited until he was sure Kyungsoo’s breath was following its normal even pattern when their nights ended like this before letting sleep take him as well, the small warm body always made for a brilliant heat source on cold nights like this, so really, he didn’t mind at all.

Not to mention it was Kyungsoo. His roommate, his best friend, and basically his brother, really. If brother’s were small, adorable men with heart shaped lips, large owl like eyes, and a naughty smirk that could steal your soul, heart, and body in a matter of seconds if you weren’t careful.

He was just Kyungsoo and there was no other word for it, no other rhyme or reason. And to be honest, Chanyeol didn’t think there was one that was needed.

 

*

 

“ _Again_?” Luhan, Kyungsoo’s other best friend, the fabulous social butterfly that Chanyeol secretly kind of hated but only because he was extra cute and delicate and just… so very opposite of himself. Not to mention gay. Which, Chanyeol was also not.

Another reason it was totally plausible to be caught with Kyungsoo nuzzling into his neck eight in the morning. Chanyeol forced himself to pry one of his eyes open, trying to crane his neck to look up at Luhan, whose cherubic face was so very, very bright (read: TOO bright) in the morning light and damn had he opened the window again?

“Morning to you too, Luhan.”

“Seriously, when are you going to get this under control and finally go see a shrink about whatever the hell it is that’s causing these recurring nightmares? Look at Chanyeol-ah, he has dark circles under his eyes that look like some form of permanent eye liner. Trust me, not a good look for giant lumbering oafs who are looking to woo the fairer sex.” Luhan stamped his foot, crossing his arms as he lectured away at the pair.

To be honest it seems like the only one who had a problem with the arrangement was Luhan himself, though Chanyeol would be lying if he didn’t admit to the whole process of Kyungsoo’s late night episodes didn’t leave him physically exhausted.

“I’m sure he means that in a very caring way.” Chanyeol muttered to a rather sleepy eyed Kyungsoo who was using Chanyeol’s right arm and half his chest as a pillow.

Soo’s only response was to pull the covers up around him tighter and nuzzle deeper into Chanyeol’s sweet smelling sleep shirt with a grunt of assent and what was likely to be disbelief. Chanyeol smiled and followed suit, leaving Luhan to fuss all on his own.  

Chanyeol was sure they would hear about it later but he was only too happy to accept his fate in exchange for the thirty extra minutes of sleep he could glean before class if he just tuned Luhan’s chatter out.

 

*

 

“See you in later, Soo.”

“Later Yeollie.” Kyungsoo grunted, barely concealing a yawn as they parted ways, Chanyeol to his music lessons and Kyungsoo to his business law course.

It hadn’t always been this way of course, they’d taken many a class together since primary school. In fact, the past half a semester was actually the first time they managed to be on mostly separate tracks save for one class project they both anticipated.

You see, both he and Chanyeol were studying at the highly prized Korean Star Music University. The only difference being Chanyeol was on the performance track and Kyungsoo had opted for something less… apt to the limelight. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy the idol life, it’s just that sometimes life provided you with circumstances that make you realize not only your place in life but your life calling.

Kyungsoo truly enjoyed his major, despite it not being his first choice of program. Business law was rather involved with the entertainment industry but was also much more versatile than your everyday idol career choice. When the entertainment industry got old, he could always work for some fat cat in a large company somewhere.

So, with that in mind, Kyungsoo, ever the diligent student that he was, proceeded to study in the field and met with much success thus far. And since freshman and sophomore studies had gone so well, he permitted himself to take up a double major just for kicks, entering the vocal training courses starting last semester in spring.

Kyungsoo enjoyed the workload but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a lot, it would be only too easy to overwhelm himself if he weren’t careful. But like everything in his life these days, he only need to apply himself and adhere to a strict schedule and everything would turn out just fine.

Speaking of said schedule…

“Soo-ssi.”

“You’re late Xiuminnie...”

The boy before ran a hand through his lightly tinted locks. The color reminded Kyungsoo of warm caramel and like usual, he itched to sink his hands into it… among other things. But he was patient, rolling the sleeves of his crisp white button up to stretch over his forearms as Xiumin worried his bottom lip between his teeth. As he finished he peered up at the other male from beneath the fringe of his bangs.

“How are you going to make it up to me, Xiu?”

Xiumin walked forward, hands pressed tightly into the narrow pockets of his skinny jeans. He stopped square in front of Kyungsoo, locking eyes with the other male before sinking to his knees at Kyungsoo’s feet, making Kyungsoo smile.

“A penny for your thoughts Xiu-ssi…”

Xiumin’s trademark fox like grin appeared as Kyungsoo brought his hands to rest at his belt, awaiting the answer.

“You might want to retract that offer, because if you keep asking me that, you might end up in the poor house.”

Sure enough, Xiumin made good on his promise.

_Maybe his smile wasn’t the only thing fox like about him after all._

Kyungsoo groaned as he lost himself in the soft warm confines of Xiumin’s mouth, nary a rational thought in sight.

 

*

 

Something was going to happen today Luhan could feel it in his bones. If hackles, he’d imagined they would be raised, that tingling sensation lingering on his skin. It was odd, Kyungsoo’s nightmares returning after so many months of remission. They rarely talked of the incident regarding his friend’s condition and even when they had it was the most basic and quintessential information and then the discussion was over.

In short, Kyungsoo had gotten his heart broken. So broken it took a solid year before he started functioning like a normal human being that was able to live without supervision for fear of….well… Luhan refused to think back on such things. Luhan had befriended Soo in the thick of the aftermath of said heartbreak, having transferred to Seoul Music High School mid junior year (for reasons he’d rather not discuss).

All he could think about was those large glassy, barely blinking eyes for days after first spotting Kyungsoo. To say he was a bit smitten at first was an understatement. How could you not with those owl like eyes and heart shaped mouth? He looked like something out of a Disney movie (and sang like one too). It didn’t take long for Luhan to discover just how broken Kyungsoo really was.

Luhan shook away the memories that ghosted through his mind. They were past all that now, a solid two years past that phase of Kyungsoo’s life. He smiled, laughed, and had a devil of a temper, just like any other person and Luhan couldn’t be prouder of his ‘Disney Darling’, a nickname which Kyungsoo rather disliked. Despite that, the nickname took off like wildfire across campus, much to Kyungsoo’s dismay.

_It’s hardly a nickname befitting a Business Law major, Luhan._

_I know that’s what makes it so perfect!_

Luhan was smiling himself stupid before he realized he’d run into something….rather solid but still fleshy. A person, one might call it, who was staring at him rather rudely…..or perhaps that was just his face.

“Ah, sorry Sehun-ah. Didn’t see you there.”

The tall blonde pursed his lips in a manner Luhan found all too enthralling.

“Maybe try watching where you’re going…” Sehun drawled.

“…Luhan. My name is Luhan.” The elder offered.

“Luhan. Right. Whatever.” Continuing his moseying pace up the hill, hands sinking back into the short pockets of his jeans.

Luhan scoffed. Fucking _rude_ much?

 

*

 

“Seriously though Channie, was he raised in a barn? Does he not have any common courtesy? Like who doesn’t know my name? Who doesn’t?”

“At this volume, I can’t imagine who doesn’t. Had it ever occurred to you that the world does not revolve around you? _Maybe he just doesn’t care_.” Chanyeol murmured, pinching at the bridge of his nose.

It was days like these he really wished Kyungsoo hadn’t chose a different major because what the hell was he doing stuck next to this chatter box? Turning to his left he found something much more captivating to stare at. Speaking of chatterboxes…

Byun Baekhyun was the noisiest, but also arguably the most adorable thing he had ever seen, next to Kyungsoo. If he were totally honest, Baekhyun was like the complete and total opposite of Kyungsoo. Baekhyun was the social butterfly of the college. There wasn’t a guy or a girl in this place who didn’t fall under his spell at least once. Which explains why the supposedly “straight” Park Chanyeol was even contemplating the idea of a man crush.

It was normal, to be expected even, like a rite of passage. The only problem for Chanyeol was these feelings started somewhere between sophomore year of high school and had never left. Pretty sure that qualified as something a bit more serious than your average man crush but Chanyeol didn’t dare to dwell on it, preferring to bury his feelings than act on them. Besides, if he ever had an urge to act upon them (as he often did) he could just do what he’d always done, snuggle up beside Kyungsoo until the feelings subsided, lulled away by Kyungsoo gentle snoring.

“Good morning class.” _Ah, thank God she’s starting, Luhan might finally shut the hell up_. For all his looks he sure could ruin them easily, he wasn’t sure how Kyungsoo managed to tolerate the guy.

“Today we have a few exciting announcements. First, I’d like to announce the start of our joint project with the management class, please give help me in giving them a warm welcome.” She gestured to the doors where streams of students with rather serious looking faces marched down the auditorium pathways. It didn’t take long for Chanyeol and Luhan to spot Kyungsoo, giving a little wave which he returned with a small smile. A light chorus of welcomes and chatter filled the room as the students took to their seats.

“Yes, yes. All very exciting to see our friends from other places, isn’t it? Well, before we dive in further, I’d like you to welcome one more very special student, someone you might all know quite well. Please welcome, Mr. Kim Jongin.”

Chanyeol’s body went rigid in his seat as the aforementioned male stepped out from behind the velvety red curtain lining the edges of the stage. He hazarded a look over in Kyungsoo’s direction, dreading the scene it might cause. Much to his relief, Kyungsoo’s body had taken on the same rigid posture as Chanyeol’s and his complexion looked a bit paler but he was none the worse for wear… yet.

 

Kim Jongin. Kai. He was here. He was here and standing bold as brass in front of Kyungsoo. Long tanned limbs, thick pink lips, and the same big brown eyes he was never able to say no to. They were all there before him, like he’d walked out of one of Kyungsoo’s dreams. Out of one of his nightmares.

He swallowed thickly. His body was tense, he knew that, he was sure all the blood had been pulled from his face to his gut, heart beating loudly in his ears though it felt like it was in his stomach, palms sweaty. He prided himself on not having lost consciousness at first sight.

Because what the fuck was Kim Jongin doing in Korea? What was he doing at _this_ university? Why _his_ university? He had more than half a dozen other universities that his family had their filthy rich hands in to choose from that he just had to choose the one Kyungsoo attended. No matter how he sliced it, it seemed that the almighty powers that be hadn’t had enough of the red string of fate that tied Kyungsoo to Jongin.

Kyungsoo on the other hand, was more than ready to have it severed at all costs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So this is my solid attempt at an angst fic lol. Expect dramatic flashbacks and what not. Also, I initially wrote this story with a KaiSoo endgame in mind but now I'm teetering on the edge between KrisSoo and KaiSoo...I'm hoping that as the story progresses my readers (that's you!) might give me some feedback as to who they prefer Squishy to be with....kudos, comments, and subscriptions are appreciated!
> 
> Side note:  
> KYAA! I got Exo'luxion tickets for the NA tour and I am so freaking excited! I along with my good friend and fellow AO3 author, exotrash, are going to be seeing them IN THE FLESH. Freaking EXO..... and ground floor admission too. The tickets were no joke having sold out in like 20 minutes or less for every venue! Anyway, if you're attending, let me know, maybe we'll see each other there!


	2. Thank Goodness For Little Miracles

“I believe you are all acquainted with Mr. Kim’s family. We are proud to have Jongin as a double major this semester. Please take care to make him feel extra welcome.” The professor cooed into the microphone.

 _Like hell I’d clap for this bastard_ , Chanyeol thought angrily. Look at him, all smiling and smug as he murmured a few words of greeting into the microphone, making all the fangirls swoon. Luhan included, making Chanyeol roll his eyes. Did this kid know absolutely nothing?

It wasn’t until he heard the heavy doors of the auditorium slam shut loudly that he was able to tear his eyes away from the bastard’s smug face after his initial check up on Kyungsoo.

Sure enough, as he whipped his head over to the right, Kyungsoo was nowhere to be found, the only stunningly empty seat.

_Fuck._

 

He had to put some distance between himself and the man gracing the stage, coming to fruition before him like some spectral figure from one of his nightmares.

He was okay. He could handle this, right? He had Luhan and Chanyeol. Even Junmyeon and Xiumin could be counted as allies if he really wanted to stretch. There was no earthly reason why Kim Jongin should disrupt his daily life at all. Besides, any damage that was to be done was already done.

“You ran faster than I thought you would.” A low rumble came from behind him, breathing a bit on the heavy side.

The voice momentarily paralyzed him out of sheer panic. Because, _fuck, he_ so wasn’t ready for this. Still, he felt his body turning to face the direction the sound was coming from. He kept his eyes averted, unable to confirm that the man he’d prayed would soothe his wounded pride so many years ago had FINALLY bothered with chasing after him.

“What’s wrong Kyungsoo? Can’t bother to look at me? Too ashamed?”

Kyungsoo heard Chanyeol’s arrival somewhere in the corner of his mind but he could think of nothing but the mind numbing rage that consumed him. Because how fucking dare he? It was really a blank after that as his body acted on instinct.

 

Jongin wasn’t expecting it when Kyungsoo lunged at him, frame much heavier and much more lithe than the last time he’d handled it. Before he could process things Soo was straddling him, a feeling all too familiar save for the fact that the younger boy was swinging wildly at his face, landing a few well-placed punches before that giant oaf, Chanyeol, hauled him off of Jongin.

Jongin could feel his lip was swollen, blood trailing down his face, a place by his eye felt awfully sore, maybe a scratch of some kind. He stared up at the ceiling, processing it all as he heard Chanyeol murmuring to a still furious Kyungsoo, tightly bound in his arms.

“He’s not worth it, Soo. This is not worth your career, do you understand me?” he scolded in hushed tones, lips at Kyungsoo’s ear, making Jongin more irritated than before he’d took his licks. Kyungsoo nodded wordlessly, eyes averted as frustrated tears filled his wide glassy eyes.

Jongin had finally had enough of this all too touching scene and drew himself up from the floor, wincing at his injuries. He locked eyes with the duo, wiping at a bit of blood that seethed out of the corner of his mouth.

“Not quite the reunion I was expecting, Soo.”

When all else failed, return to your comfort zone; which for Jongin was snark and bitterness. Two old allies he was all too comfortable with. He locked eyes with Kyungsoo, grinning through the blood for a grisly image that he knew deep down would likely haunt Kyungsoo later. Kyungsoo was far too gentle a soul to be comfortable with the idea of hurting another person, much less someone he had once loved. Still he met with Kyungsoo’s frustratingly blank wide eyed stare, which was still glassy from the angry tears he had shed as he tore into Jongin.

In his place, Chanyeol pierced Jongin with a wide smile as he surveyed the damages.

“Welcome to Star Music University, _Kim Jongin_.”

With that, Chanyeol turned Kyungsoo’s smaller frame around and with one arm draped over his shoulder, proceeded to flee the scene of the crime.

The most devastating thing? Kyungsoo didn’t look back. Not even once.

Jongin smiled to himself, making him grimace given his injuries.

It seems like the Do Kyungsoo he used to know and love had changed. Not only that but given the circumstances, it appeared it would be one hell of a ride getting to know the cold hearted bastard that had taken his place.

 

*

It was several days before Kyungsoo was able to process all that had really happened and begin functioning like a normal human being once more. Though he was still jumpy, skittish that Kai and his handsomely bruised face might turn up around any corner to drive daggers into Kyungsoo’s heart.

It felt both good and horrible knowing that he’d attacked Jongin once he’d come out of the haze following the incident. Chanyeol had certainly been proud. It was like years of repressed rage had been released in one go, but he still had more anger. Yes, more anger, because while perched atop Jongin, delivering the blows to his face, his body had not forgotten the all too familiar feel of Jongin pressed against him. Jongin beneath him. Jongin with their fronts slotted together, angled for pleasure only Jongin could provide. Jongin, jongin, JONGIN.

Kyungsoo felt consumed by his memory and he was so tired of having to fight his way out them. Present day was nothing like the past. They could never be anything like they were in the past no matter how many trips they made down memory lane. It would never take away the hurt. It would never soothe the wound. The monstrous betrayal Kyungsoo had felt all those years ago.

It was at Luhan’s insistence that Kyungsoo forget about it. He even baked him a batch of special brownies and some form of alcoholic cake that Kyungsoo refused to touch though he appreciated the sentiment. Instead, Kyungsoo found a much more gratifying form of stress release.

“Fuck Xiuminnie, why is it you are so fucking good at this?”

He felt Xiumin hum around his length in amusement as he looked down, the sight of him in Xiumin’s mouth was always alluring. Xiumin pulled off with a lewd pop, eyes trained on the prize as he worked his hands down the length of Soo’s cock.

“I’m always late.” Xiumin informs him, a fox like grin on his face, the one that drew Kyungsoo to Xiu in the first place. Well that and the fact that the guy might be a fellow business law major but he looked insanely good in thick rimmed black eyeliner and had an ass much tighter than his mouth.

At Xiumin’s comment Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow.

“If I didn’t know any better, from your tone of voice, I’d say you were late on purpose…”

Xiumin’s grin only widened, eyes crinkling as he paused his ministrations only to delve his thumb deep into the slit of Kyungsoo’s cock.

“Good thing you don’t know any better, Soo-ssi.”

With a growl, Kyungsoo carded his hands through the other male lightly tinted locks, yanking him up roughly for a kiss in which he could taste himself before Xiumin found himself pressed against his mattress face down as if Kyungsoo were trying to meld him to it. But all Xiumin could do was smile. Because Kyungsoo never failed to please.

 

*

 

Shortly after their session, Kyungsoo dumped all his bags on the floor of his room he shared with Chanyeol only to find Luhan gazing up at him, judgement in his gaze.

“What?” he managed. He knew what he looked like, lips swollen from kissing the fuck out of Minseok (aka Xiumin to those who knew him well enough), hair all askew, clothes rumpled.

“Really, Kyungsoo? You didn’t even have the grace of zipping up your fly. Look at you! You’re a mess. That was like the best walk of shame yet.”

“I mean, I figure Xiumin’s a good lay given that you guys have had a steady thing for like, what, half a year now? But something has to give, Soo-ssi. Either give the guy a title or let him fly free.”

Kyungsoo hated conversations like these with Luhan because he felt like he was at the receiving end of a never ending scolding session from his clearly non biological (as that would be impossible) mother.  But he especially hated discussing his sex life with practically anyone, being a very private person by nature, also given that his tastes, when unleashed by the right partner, tended to err on the…er….kinkier side of things.

With a sigh Kyungsoo turned to his friends, refusing to meet his eyes because he knew that would only spark further conversation given Luhan’s penchant for eye contact.

“I don’t really see the problem. We’re both grown consenting adults. If we chose to keep things casual, isn’t that enough?” he murmured, fumbling to change out of his black slacks and reaching for a pair of loose fitting jeans that rode low on his hips. Next came the shirt as he pulled the plain white under shirt up and over his head.

“Ugh, God, don’t you ever get any sun? Jesus, I think I have temporary snow blindness.”

Kyungsoo turned, chuckling, it was ongoing joke between them, given Luhan’s own creamy complexion. Kyungsoo tossed his sweaty white tee at Luhan’s face who failed to bat it away.

“Some people find my porcelain skin _endearing_ and _dreamy_.” Kyungsoo mocked as Luhan plucked the offending garment from his face, holding it at arm’s length with clear distaste.

“I can’t imagine why.” Luhan muttered, banishing the shirt to the floor when a knock sounded at the door. Luhan strode over opening the heavy wooden object to reveal a man who nearly knocked him breathless.

“Do Kyungsoo?” came a deep rumbly voice, a faint accent Luhan recognized as Chinese gracing his words in a most inviting way.

“No. Luhan.” He said, momentarily stunned before jerking a thumb over his shoulder at Kyungsoo.

“That—that is Kyungsoo. And—and you are?”

“Kris Wu. Business Law, second year.” A small smile gracing his lips, as if amused by Luhan’s response, before his attention shifted to the pale shirtless male behind him, who stood equally stunned.

“Mind if I come in?”

Kyungsoo was the first to respond, pulling himself out of the momentary lapse of grace far quicker than his companion, who stood nearby smiling like a fool when Kris moved past him to occupy the space. Kyungsoo quickly drew something from his closet, drawing a pale blue polo over his bare skin before returning his attention to the stranger now in his bedroom. He had an oddly wolfish glint in his eyes as he took in Kyungsoo’s form but just as quickly as Kyungsoo had noticed it, it was gone, masked by ever so polite and diplomatic mannerisms.

“What can I help you with?” Kyungsoo prompted as Kris took in his surroundings. Kyungsoo felt a bit like he was on display and with as attractive as his guest was, he hoped he wasn’t found lacking in any way.

“I’m a transfer student starting tomorrow as a Business Law major. The professors suggested I accept an assigned guide for the remainder of the term until I am certain I have a handle on things. Particularly things like where things are on campus, class work, and what not.”

“It appears that since we have a very similar schedule, they paired me with you, Mr. Do. So here I am. Awaiting your guidance.” Kris says lowly in a voice more suited for a seduction than for a campus tour.

“Ah, I see. Well, brilliant, that’s just brilliant. Where—uh, where are you staying?”

“I am residing on campus but in the far building. You know the one.” Kris winked knowingly.

Of course he knew the building. Everyone knew the building to which Kris was referring. It was where the elite of their school was housed. If Kris was taking up residence there, it meant that he was someone very, very important. Very important indeed. Kyungsoo didn’t need a dossier to know who he was dealing with though, given that Kris’ face was one he was certain he’d never forget thanks to a certain…someone. (Read: Kim Jongin)

“I do. I do indeed. Well, that always makes things interesting. I will give you my number and we can start getting you oriented starting the day after next.” When Kris’ eyebrow peaked in interest, Kyungsoo explained, seeing the wordless question in his eyes.

“Tomorrow I begin classes for my second major. I’m majoring in vocal instruction, like an entertainment management sort of deal. It’s a long story…” he started, unable to bring himself to finish as he began turning red under Kris’ burning perusal.

The taller male smiled, holding his phone out in the palm of his hand for Kyungsoo to take in order to input his number.  Kyungsoo reached out to take the phone from his hand, fingers brushing, sending a delicious jolt of electricity down his spine at the contact.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll have more than enough time for you to tell it to me, Do Kyungsoo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I worked to make these chapters longer than my usual stories. Enter: Kris and Jongin. Hope you guys enjoyed it thus far. I still don't know who Soo will end up with. Both of these ships have me mad invested LOL. So I'm hoping my readers will have some input as the story progresses. Don't be shy and tell me what you think!


	3. Words Run Dry

Kyungsoo eyed the tall male beside him. Kris Wu. Otherwise known to the international business field as Wu Yifan, future CEO and Chinese business mogul extraordinaire. Not to mention he was also Jongin’s main competition, once the two of them take their respective places within their companies. Though with Jongin’s penchant for pissing off his father, Kyungsoo highly doubted that would be an issue for much longer.

“How are your classes thus far?” Kyungsoo asked, eyes wandering up toward the tall male.

Good lord was he tall, but not in that same lanky way Chanyeol was. It was much more graceful and effortless. He looked more suited to the runway than behind some desk. The suit attire however was very fitting, given the tasteful way the navy blue fabric settled across his shoulders and leeched down his long legs.

Not that Kyungsoo had taken note or anything.

The male ran a hand through the tuft of his dark hair, giving Kyungsoo a sheepish smile. A smile Kyungsoo couldn’t help but return, eyes rolling as he let out an odd mixture of a laugh and a sigh.

“Alright, what class is it?”

“Well….” Kris grinned back.

 

Three weeks later and Kyungsoo is till tutoring Kris in their shared lecture class, his Korean being fairly rusty since leaving the country at the tender age of 10 to study under the tutelage of his father in his home country. He really just needed Kyungsoo’s help to translate some of the more confusing bits of vocabulary and legal jargon. Lucky for Kris, Kyungsoo was something of a business law prodigy, all the students balking at the fact that Kris had managed to secure his assistance, that is, until they learned Kris was loaded.

To be honest, Kyungsoo didn’t see why people held him to such high standards. He really didn’t find himself doing anything extraordinary, simply ascribing to slightly more rigorous study habits than he had used in high school. He told Kris as much, who merely scoffed at him.

“Slightly more rigorous?” Kris asked doubtfully.

By now the taller male was far more familiar with Kyungsoo’s schedule among other traits. They’d been seeing a lot of eachother. Finding themselves alone in Kyungsoo’s dorm room or in the library studying. Sometimes they found themselves ignoring the books for the weekend, choosing instead to shove themselves on the small surface of the loveseat situated in the even smaller nook of Kyungsoo’s dorm and watch whatever foreign film they could just to laugh at it. It was tradition all their own that they’d adapted after Kris’ failed attempt at speaking English, something Kyungsoo was insistent the future CEO learn in order to keep his business afloat.

More than all of these things, Kris seemed to be a wonderful deterrent for one Kim Jongin, as Kyungsoo had not seen him more than once or twice a week (and even then only in brief glances in the cafeteria or in class) in all the time that he’d been meeting with Kris.

Not that Kyungsoo really minded. It was just… he was worried. He hadn’t seen the other male since he’d attacked him in the hall on the smallest of provocations. Luhan had repeatedly told him he needn’t feel sorry in the least and Chanyeol repeated the sentiment. In all honesty, he really had deserved it. But then, Kyungsoo was never quite wired correctly, was he?

“Only slightly.” He repeated, smiling up at Kris.

Kris was cute. When the taller returned the smile, catching the look Kyungsoo sent his way, Kyungsoo felt his cheeks heat.

Cute? Scratch that, Kris was sexy as fuck.

Dear God, he hadn’t felt this way since freshman year of high school. That little flutter of butterflies in his stomach. He felt a little like throwing up but laughed at himself instead.

“So, hey, I’ll see you at the usual café at 7?” the taller asked, brown eyes lighting in a way Kyungsoo couldn’t help but find endearing.

There was just something about the guy’s passion for life that made Kyungsoo so inexplicably drawn to him. So, as expected, he nodded his assent.

“Yeah. See ya there. Don’t skip any classes.”

Kris nodded his farewell, a mischievous grin on his face before he disappeared into the crowd. Kyungsoo was so absorbed in watching him go, intent on making sure he actually attended class that he failed to see the hall empty, meaning he was most certainly late for his vocal instruction class.

He still had that goofy smile plastered on his face when he turned only to run directly into the face he had wished most fervently to avoid.

_Looks like the bruises healed well enough._

“Saying goodbye to your boyfriend?” Jongin’s voice came rather amused, but there was a rather twisted undertone that only someone as close to him as Kyungsoo had been could detect.

It was a tone of voice Kyungsoo was only too familiar with, the thought making his heart pound.

Because suddenly it felt an awful lot like he was right back where he was three years ago, just before he found himself standing in that hallway alone, wishing the ground would swallow him whole.

Kyungsoo looked up to trace the angles of the face of the boy he had once knew better than the back of his hand. The man he had once loved. The monster he had been hiding was still there, just as skin deep as before, only now Kyungsoo was considerably less blind.

Still, Kyungsoo could find nothing to say to Jongin. He’d said all his words years ago. He’d said them to the four little white walls, some more to the shadows that had filled his room, even more to the annoyingly yellow pad of paper the therapist had always held, and last but not least, he’d said the remaining to the ugly ceramic floor tiles, splashed in a brilliant shade of crimson.

That being said, he had no words for the male standing before him.

“You’re simply too late.” He muttered, moving to push past Jongin, and nearly succeeding until he felt a strong grip curl around his bicep.

The touch had his breath catching in his throat, but Kyungsoo had long since learned to mask his emotions. Emotions were pesky, useless things he no longer had any time for as they belonged in neither of his future lines of work, be it law or vocal instruction.

“It took a while, but they all healed.” Jongin murmured, gesturing to his face and Kyungsoo let his eyes linger on the fading bruise near his mouth.

“Not all of them.” Kyungsoo mumbled, reaching out his hand to ghost over the spot before catching himself mid action, drawing his hand back to his side. Jongin blinked at Kyungsoo, eyes only narrowing as Kyungsoo dropped his hand but was unsure of whether or not he was dismissed.

“Be careful, Soo, your boyfriend might get jealous.”

Kyungsoo hated the fact that his body was still so well trained. After all this bastard put him through emotionally, hadn’t he learned anything?

This was akin to willful abuse. He hadn’t come for you, he reminded himself.

Willed himself to think back to the year he spent trying to function normally.

The years he still spent trying to escape the reputation Jongin had so graciously formed for him.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” He admitted ruefully, but not before adding:

“Yet.”

With that he pried Jongin’s fingers from his arm, pushing his way past the auditorium doors and into the lecture hall, determined to ignore the tall male for the remainder of the lesson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is quickly evolving into something very heavy with the feels. It has some trigger warnings and so I think for those who read from this point on....you may want to be careful. Still, I hope you like it. <3 Please read, comment, kudo, subscribe.....it's all appreciated!


	4. Trust is a hard thing swallow....

Kyungsoo had thought himself safe as he gathered his things from the seat beside Chanyeol, the lesson having concluded, Jongin opting to sit on the opposite side of the auditorium.

He had thought wrong. Chanyeol was drawn away by that ridiculous man crush of his, the loud mouthed Byun Baekhyun. Kyungsoo really had nothing against the kid other than the fact that his complete and utter lack of the concept of “inside voices”. Baekhyun only ever spoke at a loud and insistent volume.

Determined to tune their conversation out the only way he knew how, he made his attempted escape.

Which is why for the second time today, Jongin was pouncing on him, a surprise attack that left him nearly defenseless when his hand curled around his wrist before dragging him a little further into the shadowy recesses just beyond the auditorium doors where they could not be witnessed, a kindness that for once, Kyungsoo was glad of.

The last thing he wanted was to be spotted alongside Kim Jongin.

Jongin released his wrist rather ruthlessly, causing Kyungsoo to circle the offended appendage gingerly, trying to erase the feel of the other’s skin against his.

“Be careful with Wu Yifan. He’s not who you think he is.” Jongin practically growled, as he eyed Kyungsoo, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

“Wouldn’t be the first time would it?” Kyungsoo replied bravely, looking up to meet Jongin’s gaze.

This only proved to further provoke Jongin, as this time he let out a literal growl, laying a heavy hand on the wall behind Kyungsoo’s head with a _thud_.

To his credit, Kyungsoo didn’t flinch. Inside he was quaking, a burning mixture of annoyance, fear, pain, and….arousal.

“You’ve certainly grown snarkier, Soo. That’s good.” Jongin mused, his other hand toying with the ends of Kyungsoo’s hair, an action Kyungsoo disliked greatly.

“Might need it to convince him to stay.” Jongin added when Kyungsoo smacked his hand away.

Kyungsoo turned his head, refusing to look at Jongin. He fucking hated this side of him. This side of Jongin that made Kyungsoo feel like less than a person because he knew the one thing that could potentially ruin Kyungsoo. In fact, it already had. But Kyungsoo was in rush to do it all over again.

Kyungsoo should have never fucking told him. Kyungsoo should have let him believe whatever he wanted, should have let him leave without pouring out his heart and soul.

He thought, that somehow, Jongin would understand. That Jongin truly loved him enough to understand.

But he was wrong.

Instead, Kyungsoo would forever be under the thumb of one Kim Jongin.

Even when he thought he could escape.

Even when what Jongin had done was against the law.

But appeared Kim Jongin was above the law.

“I’ll take my chances with him, than continue to suffer under the likes of you any day.” Kyungsoo choked out, finally turning his back to meet the narrowed gaze of Jongin.

“You’re a monster, Kim Jongin.”

Jongin’s mouth was on him then. Kyungsoo had seen it, that familiar heat, that awe inspiring glint just before he pressed their lips together in a punishing fashion. Kyungsoo’s body was going pliant despite his wishes. It always had, whatever Jongin demanded, Kyungsoo had given. All of it. All but one thing. One thing Jongin sought, the one thing Kyungsoo could not give him.

Jongin’s tongue was in his mouth then, swirling against his own, tracing the backs of his teeth, sucking at the wet muscle, hands sunk deep in his hair as he pulled roughly enough for tears to leak out of Kyungsoo’s eyes. Jongin was a blaze of fire, ignited in a flash but even when you removed him from the scene you were still burning. He leaned back to examine his handiwork.

“Monster or not, you still want me, Do Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t deny the bulge straining against his pants.

“Something as tepid as sexual desire is just a physical need I can have fulfilled by anyone, Jongin.”

“But I can assure the last thing I want… is you.” Kyungsoo huffed, gathering his bags once more, trying to smooth his hair into some semblance of normalcy as he made his way out of the building in pursuit of the café, leaving a glaring Jongin in his wake.

 

“I’m glad you changed the meeting place to the park.” Kyungsoo commented off-handedly, to which Kris smiled blatantly.

Kris pretended he didn’t notice the suspicious swelling of Kyungsoo’s decidedly delectable heart shaped lips or the less pristine normal ruffle of his hair. In essence, he looked like someone who’d just been kissed rather thoroughly. Which made Kris want to throttle whoever his imaginary partner had been.

To say he’d been crushing on Kyungsoo since the day he’d set eyes on the smaller male was an understatement.

“You just sounded like you could use the fresh air.” He replied, eager to set Kyungsoo at ease.

Kyungsoo eyed Yifan from the side, admiring the way he combs his hand through his honey colored locks and his fine chiseled features. Not for the first time, Kyungsoo found himself thinking he looks like something off a runway magazine and not some hotshot CEO of a major Chinese business. When Kris laughed, Kyungsoo was only mildly embarrassed the thought had escaped the confines of his mind.

He’d honestly do just about anything to see Kris’ goofy smile, it reminded him of the Sun. That little bit of sunlight Kyungsoo desperately needed what with the constant threat of shadows set on engulfing him.  

“You know, Kyungsoo-ssi, my job being what it is, my future being what it is…I can’t afford to have just anyone around me…” Kris’ deep baritone rasp starts, unwavering as his eyes settle on anything other than Kyungsoo at the moment, which makes the smaller man very nervous.

Though it really shouldn’t because Kyungsoo is all too familiar with what comes next. It’s what always comes next when someone of Kyungsoo’s social graces try to mesh with some like Wu Yifan. Much like Jongin and his alternate persona ‘Kai’, ‘Kris’ and Yifan are almost like two separate identities, or at least that’s what he imagines as he really hadn’t spent much time around Kris to decipher otherwise.

Kyungsoo only pulled himself out of his thoughts when he felt the startling weight of a folder full of a neatly stacked set of papers thrust into his idle hands. Kyungsoo did the only thing that came to mind given the action, eyes locking onto Yifan’s form, a question in them. When Kris didn’t answer and only eyed him back, waiting, Kyungsoo voiced the question aloud.

“What are these?”

Kris focused his attention on the park’s surroundings once more, kids frolicking in a playground a fair distance away, wind blowing softly at his fringe as they leaned against the warming rock, its shiny bits catching the rays of the sun in places that would catch one’s eye.

“My company and my men are very thorough. Everything I would ever need to know, everything I could ever even think to ask you about yourself and your life… is in that folder.” Kris murmured, tapping the papers with a finger.

Kyungsoo gulped. This was the part where he told him what a waste of a human being he was. The part where glorious golden haired Wu Yifan left Kyungsoo after finding out what a disgrace he’d become after allowing himself to be completely and utterly ruined by none other than his main competitor, South Korea’s Kim Jongin, multimillion dollar playboy extraordinaire.

Not that Kyungsoo was bitter or anything.

This was the part where Wu Yifan, the only other man that could hold a candle to his former flame in terms of sparking Kyungsoo’s interest, would snub him, would shame him, and a likely a whole host of other pleasantries. This was the part where, once again, Kyungsoo would have to try and keep his heart from breaking despite not being fully prepared to have extended it. And how he could blame him? Kyungsoo made himself far too easy a target. Besides…

_‘No one wants sloppy seconds.’_

So, Kyungsoo held his breath and waited, body tensed as if braced for impact.

“I didn’t read it.”

Kyungsoo could scarcely believe the words that were coming from Yifan’s mouth, turning his wide blinking owl like eyes to meet Kris’ own intense gaze.

“Why?” Kyungsoo asked carelessly, mouth running away with him before he could stop it. _Why look a gift horse in the mouth?_

“What if I’m a murderer or an extortionist?”

_What if I’m bad for your image?_

Kris chuckled warmly at Kyungsoo’s worries, a smile that reached deep into his eyes settling on his face.

“Well, if I was totally honest _I_ didn’t read anything. My men did though, but only to ensure me that you did not commit any major crimes that might be detrimental to my health or my company. Although if you have plans to murder somebody, I have a man for that.” Yifan said with a wink and Kyungsoo found himself smiling, dopily at the comment, head still trying to wrap around the fact that his secret was still safe.

That he still had a chance for a happily ever after here with this life he built.

That history didn’t have to repeat itself, that the things that happened in high school might not follow him here.

That the nightmare, at least for now, stayed firmly rooted only in his dreams.

Still, when Kris let out a little sigh, merriment leaving his face, he was back on edge. Would he ever tire of living this way?

“I don’t care what’s in that folder, Kyungsoo-ah.” Yifan jutted out a finger at the offending object clutched tightly in Kyungsoo’s sweaty palms.

“Because I hope to learn more about you… from you personally. The old fashioned way.” Kris exhaled, as if getting the words out were some major accomplishment, a faint coloring rising high on his cheeks.

“I want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me your secrets on your own. I hope that we may get to be that _close_ , one day.” He concluded, voice small and not at all like Yifan’s true nature which made Kyungsoo feel a little giddy, grinning in a way he was unable to conceal.

“’I hope to afford you more opportunities in the future.’” Kyungsoo replied cheekily, paraphrasing a line from Pride and Prejudice, a tale they both favored. Yifan grinned back wildly and Kyungsoo resisted the urge to squeal, unable to tear their eyes away from eachother.

“Ah!” Yifan exclaimed, reaching beside him to procure yet another folder, filled with a stack of papers much thicker than the one in his hands. Kyungsoo once again looked up at Kris questioningly.

“I know that this seems a bit much but, if you were to try and take the time to dig up my past, it would be so well buried, you’d never learn anything.” Yifan snorted, humor coloring his tone.

“So, this is to spare you the grief.” He pressed the remaining folder into Kyungsoo’s hands and when he sensed Kyungsoo was about to protest, as he felt it was unfair that Yifan was offering Kyungsoo his privacy but sparing himself none, the taller male held up a hand to silence him.

“I don’t want to hide anything from you, Kyungsoo-ssi. This…this is my personal copy of my records. So you’ll know everything. The good and the bad, because it is certain that I am no saint, despite the fact that I was blessed with such God like beauty…” Yifan muses, adding a saucy wink at the end.

“This…this is my gift to you. Use it…or don’t. I won’t feel offended either way. Because for some reason…”

“… I kind of like you Kyungsoo-ssi. And more than that, I trust you.” Kris slid his hands into his coat pockets at this, waiting, assessing Kyungsoo for his reply.

But Kyungsoo was at a loss for words. No one…no one had ever said anything like that or done anything like this. Definitely not in such a short amount of time. This… was a lot given that Jongin was his ex, plus the overprotective combination of both Luhan and Chanyeol… and then there stood Yifan, golden and magnificent and entirely to brazen for Kyungsoo to hold anything back. But what did he say to that?

Kyungsoo wasn’t sure so he settled for the shortest most direct route to his feelings.

“Thank you, Yifan… I guess I kind of like you too, ‘God-like beauty’ and all.”

They stood there stupidly smiling at eachother for a solid two minutes before Kris was escorted away on some business. They bid goodbye to each other and Kyungsoo felt the butterflies dancing there, and for once, for once in the longest time, he was sure they were a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A double update! Because I had the park date thing written out ages ago. Before long things are going to take a very drastic turn. All the mystery behind the past and what not may have a little light shed on it very soon! Hope you guys find this to your liking. Let me know what you think!


	5. The thing about prey animals...

“Come work for me.” Kris’ words had left his mouth before he could think about them. Kyungsoo’s normally placid expression only changed by a marginal widening of his owl like eyes. When a heart shaped smile graced the lips of the shorter male, Kris felt a sudden warmth filling his cheeks.

“That was sudden.” Was the only retort Kyungsoo offered, smile still in place, giving Yifan a small spark of hope. He hadn’t gotten where he was today without that blatant confidence, and he certainly wasn’t going to lose his cool over something like his schoolboy crush on Kyungsoo.

“It is, isn’t it?” Kris challenged, his eyes still glinting with the offer.

Kyungsoo sighed. He was tempted he was really tempted. But…

“I’m, we’re, still in school Yifan.” Kyungsoo tried, he knew he was reaching and he also knew Kris would keep pushing. He didn’t seem the type who was used to hearing the word “no”.

“That doesn’t matter, and you know it.” Kris grinned as they approached the lunch line in the cafeteria, trays sliding along the metal bars.

Why Kyungsoo had chosen to eat here instead of going out was beyond Kris. Still, if he was near Kyungsoo he wouldn’t complain. He enjoyed the shorter male’s company. And there may or may not be something about his diminutive stature Kris rather liked.

“I’m the CEO of a major Chinese entertainment agency…”

“Future CEO.” Kyungsoo corrected, jabbing in finger in the air emphatically as if this were nothing more than a minor detail.

“A moot point. Regardless, I need someone like you on our team…”

Kyungsoo was nodding, eyes averted as he busied himself grabbing an assortment of items to fill up his tray. He was weighing his options between and extra bowl of rice and that delightfully tangy soup when he felt Yifan’s strong hands on his shoulders before one ghosted to his chin to lift his head, finding himself staring eye to eye with one very tall, very handsome, very determined Kris.

“…and I refuse to let anyone snatch you away before I make an offer.” He added softly.

“You’re good. You’re ridiculously good. You know these laws better than the back of your hand. Better than half the professors. Hell, you could have graduated already!” Yifan was excited and behind them he could hear others growing restless as they held up the line. Not that he could blame them, they probably wanted food.

So that combined with Kris’ impossibly good looks and cheesy lopsided grin, had Kyungsoo mumbling:

“I’ll think about it. Now let’s just get some lunch, yeah?”

Could Kris’ smile get any brighter?

The thought had Kyungsoo struggling to contain a grin of his own.

 

 

*

“Could they get any more sickening?” Jongin asked, eyeing the pair, Kyungsoo and Kris that is, with overt disdain.

“You know what they say, early bird catches the worm.” Sehun muses beside him.

Oh Sehun was easily the school’s most popular freshman, an ice prince in all forms. Jongin had to censor himself when he felt a hand slip between his thighs underneath the table to squeeze at his cock. His eyes flashed over to Sehun who merely raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“Meaning?” he asked, irritated, now that he was both half hard and forced to watch the likes of Wu Yifan courting Kyungsoo.

“Meaning if you really want to get back with owl boy so badly, why not just do it? You know he wants you. We all saw you practically dry humping outside of the auditorium yesterday.”

“It’s not that simple, Sehunnie.” Baekhyun admonished the younger, before plopping a bit of strawberry yogurt into his mouth with flourish.

“I don’t see why you need to make things so complicated. Sex is sex. You don’t even have to really like the person. You just need to make your terms _clear_. Besides, if you don’t bang him someone else will.”

“Whatever.” Jongin growled before grabbing his tray, leaving abruptly, and while Sehun just shrugged his shoulders, Baekhyun let out a long sigh.

“Your ass is gonna pay for that later.” Baek warned.

Sehun could only grin in response.

“Let’s hope so.” Wriggling his eyebrows once more and Baekhyun grimaced, the image of his two closest friends fucking out their problems was not a visual he needed nor wanted imprinted in his brain.

“Gross.”

 

*

 

Luhan and Chanyeol had staked claim to Kyungsoo that particular night, insistent on attending this movie night they had begun to orchestrate. They had sent Kyungsoo off to the campus library, which also lended recently released movies (and by recently he meant anything that had went to DVD at least 6 months after the DVD hit stores). Still, knowing Kyungsoo’s nature, his friends were aware they had made him an offer he couldn’t refuse being a great lover of Netflix and chill….sans the chill. Unless chill meant actually chilling and not… you know…

Kyungsoo’s mind was ripped from his thoughts by the sound of a torrent of giggles that was almost decidedly male coming from a few stacks behind the DVD section. The library was relatively empty given it was the weekend. Most people had schedules if they were in idol courses, or were just out in general.

He would ask himself later why the hell he found himself drawn to the sound, and why the hell he decided it was a good idea to follow the sounds to their source especially after he heard a few solid hitches in breath that were far too familiar.

He really should have turned around at the torrid little moan that escaped from what was defiantly one of two males, seeing as it was followed by a breathy little chuckle. Kyungsoo really should have minded his own damn business but he was too close now, breaching the corner of the shelving system the bodies were hidden behind.

“ _Jongin_ …” The blonde breathed out in a plea, his arms braced against the bookcase, kneeling on all fours, pants pooling just above his knees, what was likely his shirt lie in a puddle on the floor in a heap.

Just as the pretty little blonde had mentioned, flushing prettily behind him was Jongin, cock sunk deep into the boy’s ass, tan hands digging into the pale flesh of the other’s hips, body pistoning almost mechanically as he drilled into the blonde.

“Make me forget, Sehun-ah. Like you promised.” Jongin murmured, his voice a toss-up between a command and a request that had Kyungsoo swallowing hard.

For some reason his feet would not fucking move, eyes, or rather eye, glued to Jongin’s form. He was half hard in his pants and tears stung at his eyes but it all paled in comparison to the stabbing pains in his heart.

This scene was so familiar. So fucking familiar as he continued to watch, Jongin’s eyes fluttering shut, stuffing the other male full, body starting to slick making his t-shirt moist in certain areas.  Jongin was close, Kyungsoo knew, as his movements started to get jerky and impatient. The boy beneath him cried out, cum splattering against the ugly blue carpet in an unceremonious fashion. Not that Kyungsoo really noticed, eyes still fastened on Jongin who was fucking into the other in a single minded haze.

And then he came, he came with that lovely pause of breath as they orgasm leeched all rational thought from his mind, lips parted sweetly, eyes squeezed shut. He dragged his bottom lip between his teeth milking the rest of his high and Kyungsoo was trying desperately to will himself to keep calm, to get his ass out of there before Jongin did something stupid like look up and find him there. He was already in pain enough, yet still he stood there rooted.

Move dumbass.

His eyes were fluttering open.

Oh fuck.

“Kyungsoo-ssi!”

Xiumin’s voice reverberated throughout the scarcely populated room in a way that made Kyungsoo’s heart gallop in full as he threw himself out of eye sight before Jongin could snap his head up and catch him there, plastering himself against the flat of the shelf he’d been obscured behind.

Taking a few quiet, well placed strides forward he felt safe enough to answer Xiumin’s call, who was rushing forward to greet him now. He stopped just a few book stacks shy of Jongin’s little rendezvous spot.

“Ah, Xiuminnie. What’s-ah- what’s up?” he started awkwardly, hands shoved in his pockets as he needed to occupy them, trying to walk and talk, desperate to lure the other male away from Jongin’s prying ears. Xiumin seemed to be having none of it though, holding up a hand when Kyungsoo made to move.

“Actually, I, we, need to talk Soo.”

 

Jongin was still now, Kyungsoo’s voice was low but ringing in his ears all the same.

Had he heard them?

Had he seen them?

Oh God, what if he saw?

What he must think of him…

He bristled at the way the other male called him so familiarly. Soo, he mocked internally. Though it was not so long ago Jongin himself had favored that nickname. Still did, in fact.

But he hated hearing it on someone else’s tongue. Hated hearing Kyungsoo call someone else by some cutesy fucking nickname like they were boyfriends or some shit. It was nauseating.

“Talk about what?”

The air was heavy for a moment, thick with silence as whoever it was shuffled around, Sehun was pulling at his shirt now, not amused at being shushed into silence so that Jongin could eavesdrop on his ex-boyfriend’s conversation.

“I met someone.” The male dubbed Xiuminnie drawled, as if he were nervous, as if it were important that Kyungsoo know this.

The thought made Jongin’s stomach turn, because if that were the case, then that meant…

“Oh.” Kyungsoo’s voice lilted, as if surprised but not all together listless over the idea. “I see.”

“I just—thought I should tell you. I mean we’ve been fucking for like 6 months now, and the sex is good—it’s just…” the other male said in a rush to explain to Kyungsoo.

“I understand.” Kyungsoo’s voice came, surprisingly light of heart. Jongin could actually hear the smile in his voice, could practically picture, a beautiful little heart, but the smile not quite reaching his eyes in the way it always did when Kyungsoo was disappointed in someone but didn’t want to let on.

“I’m sorry.” Xiumin’s voice came softly and there was a few soft footfalls before Jongin could hear light little pats.

They were hugging.

They were _fucking_ hugging.

The bastard had basically just dumped Kyungsoo and they were _hugging_?

_What kind of fucking double standard was this?_

It was the last straw for Jongin.

 

Kyungsoo had his arms full of Xiumin, administering calm little pats to his back, as if this weren’t awkward enough already, Kyungsoo soon found himself torn from Xiumin a firm hand wrapped around his wrist, his captor stomping away leaving Kyungsoo no choice but to follow. He glanced at a confused Xiumin and the blatant lack of interest mirrored in the eyes of a tall blonde he’d seen only moments before, albeit less clothed.

That left only one possible person to be at the other end of his wrist.

It was then that Kyungsoo dug his heels in, body becoming dead weight, wrist stretching painfully in Jongin’s grasp before he whipped around to snarl at the shorter male.

“You’re pathetic. You just stand there at let him dump you?” Jongin was enraged. Kyungsoo couldn’t fathom why. He’d given up all right to caring about Kyungsoo the night he got on that plane. The day he left him standing in front of… it didn’t matter. None of it mattered.

So why was Jongin here?

“He didn’t dump me.” He stammered.

“What the fuck Soo, I was there the whole time. I heard every fucking word he said. Have you no fucking spine anymore?”

Kyungsoo had nothing to say. Nothing at all, his words were clipped and controlled, grasping at reasons for Jongin was pointless. Emotions… emotions where Jongin was concerned at least, only served as a point of weakness. A weakness he knew all too well Jongin was more than willing to manipulate.

He turned to leave but Jongin shoved him back, angered, which only served to anger Kyungsoo more. So he chanted his mantra.

_Breathe. Be calm._

The mantra he and Luhan had learned all those summers ago. Those summers spent in a tiny room with bare white walls.

_Breathe. It’s okay._

White walls he had so eagerly wished to spread some color on. Well, only one color really…. Kyungsoo worked to shake the thought from his head…..

_Breathe. Live._

“You let your plaything dump you, Soo?” Jongin hissed when Kyungsoo had stayed quiet. It was always like this. They were always like this. Never placid in this context. It was and likely always would be that type of explosion with Jongin, their chemistry going off like an eternal firework in his brain.

His heart wouldn’t calm down even, or perhaps more specifically when, Jongin leaned in close, breath fanning across Kyungsoo’s face as he caged him in.

_Breathe..._

“Too bad, you’ll always be my favorite plaything Soo.” The brunette purred, eyes dropping to Kyungsoo’s lips and it made Kyungsoo’s brain fuzzy just thinking about it.

“No matter who you’re with. No matter how much you change. No matter how I break you… you just can’t help yourself.” Jongin’s fingers were ghosting at his zipper and Kyungsoo could feel every stupid breathy noise he made ringing in his own ears, the smug smile on Jongin’s face….he wanted to fuck it off of him.

“Can you?” Jongin whispered, smiling as he hovered just over Kyungsoo’s mouth, eyes smiling. Like a predator with his prey. A wolf and a rabbit were a more fitting analogy.

But there was this thing about rabbits… Kyungsoo thought as he brought his knee up to hit Jongin squarely in the groin… hard, leaving Jongin hunched over trying to catch his breath as he made a hasty exit.

Rabbits…they were accustom to being preyed upon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This fic has been so fun to write thus far, it's really taking a life of it's own and at this point even I dont know who is going to be end game for Kyungsoo lol. It's about to delve into some heavy trigger warning laden stuff here down the line so if you dislike graphic descriptions you may want to be warned.....consider this a warning. I will add the tag when it happens. In the mean time, what do you guys think? Do you like it? Your comments give me life (and sometimes even inspiration!). Don't be shy and tell me what you think <3 Until next time (which is likely to be soon!)


	6. By The Wayside

“Mr. Do, while I fully understand your disdain for the idea, you have no other options. Part of this business is working with people you don’t necessarily get along with. If you don’t care for that, then perhaps you should have stuck with your other major.”

He was right. He was always right. Professor Choi had that annoying talent of delivering the worst possible news in the best possible manner, making it palatable for anyone and was gifted with the God-given talent of persuading them to do just about anything.

The only problem was Kyungsoo was certain there was absolutely nothing even the magnificent Choi Siwon could do to make Kim Jongin even remotely palatable to him.

He knew that even sharing all the gory details and horrors of his past with Professor Siwon would win him no sympathy in this matter, so it was here that he was admitting defeat.

The simple truth was, Kim Jongin was his new charge. It was announced that day he’d so conveniently ran (practically screaming) from the auditorium. And as only he and Jongin were ever so CONVENIENTLY missing at the same time… it could only be inferred that they were expected to be partners as everyone else had already chosen there. Kind of explains why Chanyeol was so late to the scene of the fight. He’d lamented the delay for SO long thereafter, complaining about how he never got to see Kyungsoo in action.

Kyungsoo sighed resolutely as he looked across the hall at his would be partner, who at the moment, was laying it on real thick for his buddies. Kyungsoo knew he could feel his eyes on him. Jongin had done this a few times before….when they had been together.

He swallowed back his fears. The nightmares would come more frequently the closer he got to Jongin, and being forced to partner with him…he was sure they would come every night. He’d have to warn Chanyeol.

And put off staying over any nights at Yifan’s house any time soon. Because how did you tell someone you were having nightmares about your ex-boyfriend and not sound like a psychopath spilling all his dirty little secrets?

It was a sad day indeed. But it was one he was ready to have done and over with. So, with what felt like virtual lead in shoes, he drug himself over where Jongin sat, his silent approach noted as their boisterous conversation fell into a sudden lull.

“I’ll need your number so we can work on this project, Jongin.” He explained with a huff. He was irritated that he even needed to explain his presence. Though had been a long time past the point where they could communicate wordlessly. Besides, as always there was only one message Jongin had ever really recognized. And Kyungsoo was most certainly not going THERE.

“Do Kyungsoo. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Baekhyun’s sing song voice lilted forth, and Jongin sent him an amused smile.

Was every little thing he did going to irk Kyungsoo? If so, it was going to be a long two months.

Kyungsoo lifted the corners of his mouth in a polite fashion, as the boy had said nothing rude. Yet.

“Yes, quite some time.” He added, perfunctory as expected.

“It’s quite odd that you’re on the instruction track rather than an idol track, I’ve heard your voice, it’s quite beautiful. You’ve got the talent.” Sehun commented, harmlessly.

If a snake that lie in the grass could be harmless.

Kyungsoo swallowed. But of course, as Sehun was a transfer from another school system, he would have no idea. No clue as to why it is Kyungsoo was not idol tracking. He just thanked the powers that be that Baekhyun simply looked upward at the heavens, refraining from comment and Jongin merely shifted in his seat restlessly.

“Thank you, but I, uh, I suppose that some things just don’t quite work out the way you planned them.”

“Cell.” Jongin asked snappishly.

Again, a behavior Kyungsoo was more than familiar with from Jongin. He fished the device out of his bag and deposited it into Jongin’s open palm.

He should have known better. Really he should have.

“A flip phone? Seriously?” Jongin eyed the device, voice bordering on the incredulous.

Kyungsoo flushed red. He couldn’t afford much more than that, not that Jongin was anyone to judge.

“I guess those scholarships aren’t what they used to be.” Baekhyun surmised, with a teasing lilt in his voice as he too surveyed the phone.

Jongin was thumbing the phone now, the pads of his fingers too big for the keys to point where he was laughing, likely out of frustration, a tell that only Kyungsoo would know.

Kyungsoo wrenched his cell from Jongin’s grip, blush still high in his cheeks, warmth flooding to his ears now too.

“What’s your number? I’ll just put it in myself.”

“010-5769-4427.” Jongin rattled off shamelessly.

“I’ll text you about meeting times.” Kyungsoo mumbled moving to haul his ass out of there.

But Jongin’s hand was bunched in his shirt, pulling him back down into his seat with a thud.

“What?” he asked, half embarrassed of the fearful tone his voice had taken.

Jongin just cocked his head to peer at Kyungsoo better, as if puzzled. As if Kyungsoo had taken a misstep somewhere that Kyungsoo knew he had not. He was certainly being less than formal, far from cordial to say the least. But all those lines in the sand were lost a long time ago.

The simple truth was, Kyungsoo could treat him however he pleased.

“You didn’t say thank you.” Jongin was waiting for the words, voice holding that dangerous lilt they always had just before they fucked Kyungsoo good and hard on any and every viable surface he could find.

“Thank you, Jongin.” He growled before stomping away.

Waiting for the shorter male to be out of earshot, Baekhyun cleared his voice, the amused smile still painting Jongin’s features was typically a good thing.

“All this time and you still hold so much sway over him…”

Sehun was inspecting his nails now, pretending not to find the conversation interesting, especially when Jongin chuckled softly to himself. They all knew what that laugh meant.

“Some things never change.” He sighed, elated that as always, he’d gotten his way with Kyungsoo, no matter how grudge bearing he might have been.

 

*

Chanyeol was as happy as a clam. How he’d managed to get the group of three rather than pairs like everyone else he would thank his lucky stars. Because beside him sat the effervescent, larger than life, one and only, Byun Baekhyun.  

He was even more breathtaking up close. All hooded eyes and wide smiles. Chanyeol may have been a little to absorbed with the way the shorter male’s lips looked upturned as he was speaking with Soo, who had just stomped away from the group, feet falling in heavy footfalls before stopping just short of Chanyeol.

“I’m going to see Yifan. I start there today and he has something he wants me to do beforehand.” Kyungsoo huffed out, irritated after the brief interaction with his ex. Kris was a seemingly good balm for this particular wound of Kyungsoo’s it appeared and Chanyeol wasn’t arguing.

It was still a shame Kyungsoo rarely cuddled with him anymore. It was likely about to change though, given that he would now be forced to be in Jongin’s presence repeatedly what with the project and all. Chanyeol tried not to be too happy at the prospect of getting to cuddle Kyungsoo through his nightmares. More than once Kyungsoo had called him a cuddle slut.

He couldn’t exactly argue either.

“By _‘do something’_ do you mean Kris?” Luhan wiggled his eyebrows from beside Chanyeol, who elbowed him in the stomach hard. Because…. _gross._

Admittedly, a little intriguing.

But still mostly gross.

Kyungsoo flushed at Luhan’s comment. Ah. So there was something there. Something he vehemently denied in the next breath.

“NO. We’re going… shopping, apparently.” Kyungsoo offered.

“Oooooh. Shopping with a hot wealthy and virile young man. Sounds like my idea of a date.” Luhan cooed, insistent upon riling Kyungsoo up.

Or pissing Jongin off, as he was visibly eyeballing Kyungsoo, their conversation overtly loud for being just a short jaunt away from the other trio. The result was something Chanyeol was more than okay with, it was highly amusing.

Because how dare that bastard think he have any further claim over Kyungsoo.

“It’s not like that. We’re going _clothes_ shopping. It’s for my new… occupation.” Kyungsoo hissed.

Luhan just grinned wider, continuing to pick at his nails beside Chanyeol, voice still lilting in that annoyingly sweet sing song way of his.

“Clothes shopping, eh? As in he’s going to clothe you and disrobe you in a repeated fashion? I still fail to see how any of this is: A) less than sexy or B) not a date.”

Kyungsoo glared daggers at his friend. To soothe the smaller male Kyungsoo lay a hand softly on Kyungsoo’s arms.

“Have fun, okay? Don’t listen to this asshole beside me. He’s just jealous. Just be sure to text if it gets to late or whatever.” Chanyeol winked.

Kyungsoo smiled in conspiracy when Luhan began to protest. Muttering a quiet:

“Thanks Yeol.”

And with that the owl-eyed boy made his way out of the auditorium. If Chanyeol had been paying attention he might not have missed the heavy weight of Baekhyun’s gaze from the time he’d thumbed at Kyungsoo’s arm to the time the other male had fled the room, eyes turning down in barely concealed disappointment.

As it had for some time now in regards to the towering, and decidedly clueless male.

_What is it about Do Kyungsoo…_

_Is everyone in love with him?_ Baekhyun thought bitterly before shoving his things into his bag, listening to the echoing sounds of Luhan’s inane chatter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here I am....updating again. LOL. I introduced a bit of the side romances with this chapter for a bit of fun and pushed the envelope for Kaisoo's general magnetism and how it might clash beside Krisoo's attraction. From here I'll begin to lay out a bit of Kyungsoo's past and why he's so traumatized. I wonder if people will be able to guess what and why he'd so withdrawn from pretty much everyone but Chanyeol from his childhood. Luhan's story will also come into play. And I figure that I'd expand on the HunHan club experience in the next chapter as well. In any case...tell me what you guys think....double update so far.....might be a triple maybe lol. Idk. We shall see. This story is kind of giving me life.


	7. Angels Could Be Bad

_“You look exquisite.” Jongin commented, proud of the compliment he had summoned. But really it was the only word he had for Kyungsoo as he surveyed the shorter male._

_“Stop trying to cover yourself up.” He commanded as Kyungsoo’s fingers thumbed at the silky fabric that was ghosting over the line of his body so discordantly._

_Jongin rather liked the contrast of Kyungsoo’s masculine features clashing against the so overtly feminine frock._

_Kyungsoo couldn’t stop fidgeting, dragging his fuller lip between his teeth as he ghosted his fingers across the lacey edges in a hastily concealed attempt at pulling the garment down to cover more of his skin. The action made Jongin growl._

_“Don’t make me tell you again, Kyungsoo.”_

_Large glassy owl eyes glanced up at him, filled with an emotion all too familiar to Jongin. Lust and embarrassment, just the thing to stir both of their blood._

_He strode toward Kyungsoo with slow purposeful movements. Calculated, measured, precise, all the things Jongin needed when he seduced Kyungsoo into fulfilling the darkest of his fantasies. The boy was only too happy to oblige it seemed._

_Jongin stretched his hand out to cup Kyungsoo’s cheek softly, which he leaned into almost too easily. A cold predatory smile spread across his lips before his fingers sought purchase in Kyungsoo’s glossy locks, yanking upwards roughly, making Kyungsoo’s breath catch in his throat._

_“Don’t move.”_

_“Yes Mas—“ the rest of the sentence was chased out of the shorter male’s mouth by Jongin’s tongue, intent on leaving no aspect of Kyungsoo unexplored._

 

 

Jongin woke from his dream with a jerk. Looking around his eyes landed on a clock near the bed somewhere. _3:45 a.m._ it blinked back at him with an expectant green glow, making the incriminating residue left over from his dream more glaringly evident in its light. Jongin thrust his ruined sheets away from him in disgust, fingers instead thrusting into his hair in frustration as he groaned.

It had happened _again_. Another wet dream starring the one and only Do Kyungsoo.

_Is this what he reduces me to?_

It hadn’t happened in years. Then again he hadn’t been in close proximity to Kyungsoo during that time. Contact with him had likely induced the dreams.

 _More like memories_ , he thought with a bitter smile.

What he’d give to unravel Kyungsoo just one more time. Maybe then he’d at least be able to get a decent night’s sleep.

Rolling over on his side he reached for his phone blindly, opening his private chats with the silent tap of a finger.

_Come. Now._

_-Kai_

It was mere moments later when the shrill ping of his phone was sounding in his ears.

_So bossy._

_Omw._

_-Hun_

Jongin wiped a hand down his features.

Sehun was no Do Kyungsoo but for tonight he would have to do.

 

*

 

Kyungsoo was fidgeting. He knew he was fidgeting. Still he couldn’t help himself.

Not when the renown Wu Yifan was dragging him through store after store, insisting he try this, try that, spin around for him so that Yifan could not-so-subtlety check out his ass in a particularly nice pair of jeans.

He tugged on the V neck over his protruding collar bones as they snuck out from beneath the fabric. The perfect tease, Kris had declared when selecting the garment, the soft fabric a particularly attractive shade of coral.

He looked good, he knew. Kris would never allow for anything less. The only thing was… he knew this store. He knew who it belonged to. So did Yifan. But the idea didn’t seem to cow him. In turn, Kyungsoo had marched through resolutely while Yifan piled up yet another stack of clothing he would never be able to afford.

Pushing the plush velvet curtain aside once more he sauntered out once more to make his complaints known, coral tee and faded denim that rest low on his hips ought to soften the blow.

“I fail to see how this qualifies as work attire.”

Kris grinned brightly from his place on the white leather sectional as he took in Kyungsoo’s form. The shorter male was trying to conceal a smile behind crossed arms and a forced huff.

“Casual Fridays?” Kris offered with a shrug, face still smiling stupidly because _DAMN_ did Kyungsoo clean up well.

Yifan gestured for the store attendant and was talking softly with her as he handed her his card on the sly. Kyungsoo used this time to check himself out in the mirror once more.

Luhan was going to die when he saw this.

Kyungsoo _never_ wore such revealing clothes.

“How is that revealing in the least?” Kris laughed.

Kyungsoo was more than a bit mortified the thought had left his mouth, flushing brightly, his skin turning to a shade resembling the one of the shirt he was currently donning. Kris’ laughter trailed off lightly as he sauntered over to Kyungsoo, hands in his pockets.

“I can think of a few things a lot more revealing I’d like you to wear.” Yifan’s breath teased hotly near his ear as he stooped to whisper the barely concealed innuendo into Kyungsoo’s ear, the action making Kyungsoo flush even more profusely.

Successfully having completed his mission of flustering Kyungsoo beyond reason, Kris straightened with a laugh and told the lady that the shorter male would be wearing his current outfit out of the store.

“You look too good in these for me to strip you of them.” He smiled.

But he couldn’t resist adding:

“Yet.”

 

*

 

Jongin was staring at Kyungsoo. Hard. Kyungsoo could feel virtual holes being drilled into the side of his head all throughout their attempted “lesson”. Jongin couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ , focus on anything Kyungsoo was saying, any instruction Kyungsoo had given in regards to his inflection, the key change, the pronunciation. Nothing. Jongin heard not a word, reciting the same flat lyrics, nearly soulless, as Kyungsoo tried to correct him. Thus, his patience was wearing thin until, finally, he snapped.

“Do you even want to pass this course? Because at this rate it’s fucking pointless, Jongin. You keep doing the same thing over and over. Please _try_ to focus. I’d like to get this over with.”

Jongin was quiet. It was almost eerie. Very unlike the stereotypical Jongin. All too often, it had been Kyungsoo who had been quiet between the two of them. Kyungsoo was like that inherently, always watching, observant, too often a bystander when he wanted to actively participate.

It wasn’t entirely his fault. Some of it, in part, was just in his nature. Other parts of it were instilled in him. That is to say he was conditioned to act a certain way.

It was this habit that Kyungsoo hated so much if only because it left a stinging reminder of what had happened between him and Jongin all those years ago. And you know what they say, old habits die hard.

Kyungsoo could certainly attest to that.

Likewise he could attest that old dogs most certainly could learn new tricks with proper motivation.

Jongin was eyeing him now in that calculating way of his, as if he was only just now taking into account Kyungsoo’s outburst. Measuring him and finding him lacking in some way. Jongin seemed to always find him lacking. Always finding reason to punish him.

“I saw you the other day. In my store with your boyfriend. With Yifan.” Jongin stated unceremoniously.

Kyungsoo bristled visibly at the mention of his personal life. It wasn’t as if Jongin had any reason to be prodding into his love life. He had no _right_.

“I told you he’s not my boyfriend.” Kyungsoo corrected begrudgingly, unsure of why he was even dignifying Jongin’s outburst with an answer.

Jongin’s only reply to this is a disbelieving scoff.

“He’s my employer.”

The words lay heavy in the room. Jongin knew what it meant just as much as Kyungsoo had made it blatantly apparent.

It meant someone else had some form of hold over Kyungsoo. Be it with time or money or sex. It didn’t matter how it just mattered that it was there. Kyungsoo exhaled loudly.

Jongin didn’t appear to want to make any more progress today so the whole meeting was pretty much a bust. He was in the process of gathering his things when he heard Jongin’s voice sound once more.

“He’s got one already, you know.”

Kyungsoo paused in his ministrations too glance over at Jongin.

“A submissive. He’s got one.”

The moment was pregnant with discordant emotion as Kyungsoo averted his eyes once more, unable to look at Jongin as he proceeded to shove his sheet music into his bag.

“I know.”

And he did. He did know. All courtesy of that handy little folder Yifan had handed him. Kyungsoo was done with this conversation. One hundred percent done, his body making quick work of the short distance between him and the exit but not before Jongin’s face rang out once more. This time in much softer, almost muted tones.

“He’s not equipped to handle you, Soo.”

Jongin’s fingertips drummed over the wooden top of the piano.

“He doesn’t know what you’re like.”

Kyungsoo swallowed dryly, licking at his lips in nervousness before turning around to face Jongin once more.

“Neither do you. Not anymore.” He muttered softly, letting the words fall where they may to lay as much damage to Jongin’s over inflated ego as possible.

He’d never let him see. He’d never let Jongin know just what he’d done.

And if he ever did learn, well, Kyungsoo knew there would certainly be a special spot in Hell reserved just for Kim Jongin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! A glimpse into Kyungsoo and Jongin's past and a hint at why their relationship is so jagged and angry. Just a hint. There's more to come. LOL. Everyone seems to find him a bit of an a** at the moment. LOL. I can't disagree but maybe (maybe) he has a reason to be? Or maybe he just is lol. Youll have to stick with me to find out. Plus Kris, this gives us a bit of an insight to what kind of a man our Wu Yifan is in this story. Some people root Krisoo. Next chapter we'll dive into this hardcore! Hope you liked the update! Happy (belated) Valentine's Day readers <3! Please comment, kudo, subscribe and all that good business! 
> 
> Your ever-so-grateful author,  
> Illeana


	8. Silent Wars in a Mad World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people were confused about this chapter. Kyungsoo went all insane with the nude pictures. The nude pictures were LUHAN'S and....(can you guess who else after that club scene?). With Soo and Lu being best buds....Kyungsoo was highly upset not just because someone is tormenting his bestfriend but the fact that someone is doing so in the same manner he himself was tormented.
> 
> That's right. It will all be revealed soon but that's how Kyungsoo was left in HS. Pictures of him and Jongin spread all over the school. Nude pictures at that. Given their 'special' relationship.... you can imagine its probably a million times more embarrassing than just normal naked pictures. Don't worry we'll get into that. 
> 
> So just in case anyone was confused as to why Kyungsoo was freaking out....that's why. He has a sort of PTSD like complex about it. Seeing someone else he cares for go through the same thing was infuriating. So it didnt take much for Kris to infer.....what was going on.

Jongin could still hear Kyungsoo’s words ringing in his ears, days later.

He couldn’t deny there was some truth to them. He didn’t know what Soo was like anymore. Not the new Soo, this new persona that seemed to have form in Jongin’s absence.

Not that he’d truly had a choice in leaving Kyungsoo. But what excuse could he offer Kyungsoo?

“How about I’m sorry my psychotic, over controlling father refused to leave you alone, even going as far as threatening your life if I didn’t cut ties with you? That might do the trick. Hell, I’d be so grateful I’d suck you off right then and there.” Sehun pulled the sucker from his mouth with a lewd pop, the candy slick with spit in a way that seemed to accentuate his rather vulgar expression.

“Oh and by the way he’s dead now.” Sehun offered thoughtlessly.

Jongin just shook his head at his friends. Baekhyun had been oddly quiet throughout their entire encounter, choosing to stare at his well-manicured hands than anywhere near Jongin’s vicinity.

“You awfully quiet. Which you only do when you know something you shouldn’t.” Jongin stated plainly, his voice pulling Baekhyun from his uncharacteristic silence. Jongin watched thoughtfully as Baekhyun managed to pull his features into his composed mask that he wore so well.

It seemed Kyungsoo wasn’t the only one who’d changed since he’d been gone. Baekhyun was getting a lot better at lying so that he appeared undisturbed. Jongin could still tell something was troubling him. Baekhyun’s overly bright smile was blinding and fake as hell.

God have mercy on Park Chanyeol’s soul if he really wanted this boy. Jongin hadn’t been able to help notice the taller male practically eye fucking Baekhyun for over half of lecture on Wednesdays. As it was, the giant bumbling oaf was already far too oblivious. What would he do if he were really to try and handle Baekhyun and his penchant for cutting off his own nose to spite his face?

“It’s nothing Jonginnie~” he said voice a bit too shrill and falsely happy to Jongin’s ears.

So when Jongin’s sharp stare was rounding out into a glare Baekhyun provided further evidence.

“I just know that things aren’t always as easy as they seem.”

Jongin nodded, letting it slide for the moment, eyes catching on a familiar glossy sheen of red hair. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol settled down on the green, limbs outstretched. It wasn’t long before Kyungsoo’s head was in Chanyeol’s lap, the taller male’s fingers sliding through the rich red strands of Soo’s hair, smiling down at him as they sat there. And Park thinks he’s still straight, Jongin scoffed inwardly.

He found it nauseating to be honest, but not unfamiliar. He took the time to study Baekhyun, his tensed reaction much more telltale and entertaining than the vomit inducing scene before them.

It was funny how obvious he was. Pathetic, really. Guess what they say is true, we are all fools in love.

When he wanted to be Baekhyun could be a vault. The thing about vaults was… you just had to have the right key to opening them.

 

*

It had been just like any other day, the peaceful jaunt across campus.

It really didn’t start until Luhan set foot in the dorms. The snickers, giggles, and chuckles barely concealed behind their hands, phones at their sides.

It was odd to be sure, but Luhan paid most of the student body no mind. He rarely ever did. There was good reason for this he supposed. He jived with so few people, his personality a bit too larger than life and his face equally off putting to most as they didn’t want to compete. It made for a rather lonely childhood.

Looking ahead he could see a crowd gathered near common areas. Odd in and of itself as normally next to no one gathered there. People were snapping pictures, laughing obnoxiously at whatever spectacle was before them.

He should have spotted something off when the crowd parted so easily for him, all eyes on him as he waded through the bodies, their smiles suddenly turning oddly malicious.

It was then that his gaze caught on something familiar.

Or rather, a very familiar looking body. A body he’d just looked at in the mirror not twenty minutes ago before leaving the bathroom. His body.

Well….his naked body. All of it.

What?

Who?

Why?

Where?

The thoughts were blurring together in his mind as his eyes flew across the odd sum of over 20 photographs blown up in different proportions.

The only other body in the photographs was one Luhan knew well.

Or at least, had known well in more recent days. Or just one day in particular. One night to be more exact. A very brief torrid affair under the cover of shadows.

But something like this. This could ruin him. And Luhan had needed so desperately to keep his nose clean. What the fuck was he going to tell the Wangs now? They’d surely disown him.

“Lu.”

The voice was barely enough to pull him from the haze. It was Chanyeol. He was standing in front of Luhan now, blocking his view.

He could hear his pint sized defender in the background.

“What are you staring at? Do you find this funny? Have you no fucking respect for other people?”

The sound of ripping paper was music to Luhan’s rapidly deafening ears as his world seemed to narrow to one particular blonde head of hair as it stood unrepentant at the corner of the crowd.

 

Kyungsoo was on a rampage. He’d never been so angry in his life.

_How dare they! How dare someone do this to Luhan!_

Lu’s mental state was nearly as fragile as his own. He didn’t deserve this. They never deserved any of this. He knew it didn’t matter how good a person was. How pure his intentions may have been.

If you had money, if you had the power it took only this much to destroy a life.

To destroy someone’s career. Their future.

How fucking could he?

Chanyeol was standing there while Kyungsoo’s fingers sunk into piece after piece of paper. The cameras flashed around him, but they only fueled Kyungsoo’s rage. He didn’t fucking care.

It was just all so unfair.

_How dare he make me into some little slut?_

_Some filthy little whore for his own pleasure and then just leave?_

_How could he just leave me?_

_“I love you, Soo.”_

_No you fucking don’t. You never did._

_If you did, then why did you do this?_

Kyungsoo hated it. He hated this feeling he hated this school, these tears, and the stupid glossy paper these images were printed on.

_I kind of wish I’d never been born._

He was stomping over to Luhan then, hand circling his wrist roughly as he tugged him from the crowd.

“Soo-ssi.”

He kept walking.

“Soo, ow!”

He had to make sure he was safe.

“I said it hurts.”

Safe from the torment.

From the demons that would haunt him if he stayed any longer.

“SOO, I SAID STOP!”

They were a good distance away now. Kyungsoo finally paused in his pursuit, his grasp on Luhan’s wrist loosening so that Luhan could rub at it, face expressionless. Kyungsoo took a step back. He’d never meant to hurt him, to go this far. The thought that he’d hurt Luhan sprung tears to his unusually wide owl like eyes and Luhan made a soft pitiful smile as he looked down at his friend, still rubbing at his wrist.

“You’re right this really sucks.” Luhan sighed, his lips quivering, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes as he tried to laugh them back into place at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.

If he were his old self, he’d know just how to deal with the situation. But he hadn’t had to resort to his old vice in so long. Luhan was loathe to do it again. Not when he’d finally gotten a family, someone proud of him.

“I’m so sorry Luhan.” Kyungsoo whispered.

Luhan didn’t know what to do with an apology from someone who should definitely not be apologizing to him in any way. Because it wasn’t his fault in anyway. Not in any fashion.

So, he did the thing Luhan did best. He fled. Refusing to call upon his friend’s demons any longer.

 

*

Kris had found the lone figure of Kyungsoo’s hunched form quite disheartening as it slumped against the corner of the empty hall, one knee bent, his head resting on it, looking to all the world as lost as and alone as he probably felt.

He’d seen it. He’d witnessed it all. The posters, the wild outbursts on Kyungsoo’s part, that crazy look in his eyes.

No, not _crazy._

_Tormented._

It had torn Yifan’s heart to shreds to see Kyungsoo reduced to this.

He slid down the wall beside Kyungsoo wordlessly. The shorter male lifted his head, probably the only form of acknowledgement he’d receive and Yifan took it with a grain of salt.

“Now you know.” Kyungsoo muttered helplessly, his eyes refusing to stray anywhere near Kris’ form.

 _Scared_. He was scared and it killed Yifan inside.

“Now I know.” He affirmed with a soft grumble of words, the sound coming out all too much like pity and he really didn’t. He didn’t pity Kyungsoo. He just wanted to help him.  To listen to anything Kyungsoo might want to say.

Kyungsoo seemed to sense this. The quiet urgency for answers. The wide breadth of space Yifan was giving him so graciously when he really didn’t have to. He was free of attachment. Free from the demons that chased Kyungsoo and had him running in circles in his head.

A quiet war. A silent one.

Kyungsoo was so sick of being silent.

Still it was hard to find the words. Hard to get started. Hard to open up old wounds.

Wounds he had spent so long meticulously patching up for them to be festering so easily by a few measly sheets of paper.

“Are you going to leave now? Now that you know?”

Yifan let out a soft exhale, questioning himself. He’d known for a while now, he’d heard the whispers. Just because he hadn’t read the file didn’t mean he was stupid or deaf. He’d asked the right questions of the right people to get the answers he sought when Kyungsoo wasn’t exactly forthcoming. Some people had even felt the need to approach Kris directly out of jealousy or greed, anxious to rip Kris from Kyungsoo’s “devious claws” as one girl had said.

Not that he was much into girls.

“No.” was the answer he finally settled on and Kyungsoo just tipped his head back to stare upwardly, as if asking the heavens for the courage he needed to provide Kris with the information he knew he ought to share.

This was just the tip of the iceberg. It was so much deeper than Yifan could imagine. Kyungsoo sincerely hoped he was ready.

He liked the way the taller male’s hand curled around his in a comforting clasp far too much for his own good, knowing he was running far too great a risk of losing himself.

Again.

  


*

  


Luhan heard the soft shuffle of Kyungsoo’s feet before he could see him as he lay sprawled on the hard wood of the floor. His trademark smile was nowhere in sight. He looked over at Kyungsoo, eyes as dead as he felt inside, an expression that seemed not to faze Kyungsoo. Though when had it ever? They had met eachother when they were both broken and had spent so much of their time together trying to patch up the pieces of themselves they were seemingly missing.

But they would never be normal. He would never be normal. The only normal thing in all of this was the doe eyed boy before him. So fragile. So strong in all the places he was not.

Kyungsoo said nothing, instead choosing to assess his surroundings. There wasn’t much in the empty practice room save for floor to ceiling mirrors and a dusty black piano. People rarely ever used the corner room and for some reason Luhan had taken a liking to it when he needed to quiet his mind.

People only ever used the room for clandestine sex, the thought making Luhan chuckle softly to himself. It was a sentiment he could really relate to.

“Want me to play for you?” Kyungsoo’s voice came softly, breaking into his morose line of thinking and he nodded, face still despondent looking, unable to muster the smile he knew Kyungsoo was searching for.

But that was the beauty of having Kyungsoo beside him. With Kyungsoo he didn’t have to pretend. They’d seen all of each other’s ugly scars. There was nothing the other could hide. Their secrets were already laid bare before the other in the most pathetic way. It didn’t matter to him, what the others thought of them, the way they whispered about Kyungsoo and him.

They weren’t entangled in that fashion. Romantically. Kyungsoo was something much deeper than that to him. Luhan watched as Kyungsoo moved to the piano bench, large owl eyes unblinking as his hands ghosted across the ivory tiles of the instrument. Those large eyes had always been so disarming to Luhan, as if they had the capacity to see straight through him.

Perhaps they did, perhaps that’s why no matter where he went Kyungsoo always seemed able to find him despite doing his best to simply disappear. Just as he had always been able to save Kyungsoo from himself, the shorter male always seemed to rescue Luhan.

The melody started slow and Luhan couldn’t stop the trace of a smile that played its way across his lips as he closed his eyes, letting himself drift into memories he was probably much better off without as Kyungsoo’s voice soothed him once more…like before, the foreign English lyrics that he had treasured so much in a not so distant past.

_(**the lyrics written here are taken from Gary Jules’ Mad World—I do not own them**)_

 

              _All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces…_

_Bright and early for the morning races, going nowhere, going nowhere…_

_Their tears are filling up their glasses, no expression, no expression…_

_Hang my head I wanna drown my sorrow, no tomorrow, no tomorrow…_

 

  


  


Luhan swallowed, his body propped against the piano leg, head against the body of the piano, eyes turned up at the ceiling as the flashes of memory came to him unbidden.  
  


  


              _The blood. Oh god, there was so much blood. What the fuck had Kyungsoo done?_

 _“Just let me….Lu, just let me.”_ He sobbed, thrashing as Luhan worked to steady Kyungsoo.

_Where the fuck had he even got his hands on a blade? Didn’t people have any sense?_

Wrapping his palm around the leaking wound with a force that was meant to both staunch the bleeding and send a shock of pain, Luhan murmured a whole slew of nonsensical words into Kyungsoo’s ear. But the most important of them all:

 _“You can’t Soo… I can’t. If you’re not here -- who will save me?”_ he’d murmured, tears of his own bleeding into the frothy mix of despair.

  


 

              _And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad…_

_The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had…_

_I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take…_

_When people run in circles, it’s a very, very…_

 

                                                                                      _Mad World._

_Mad World._

_(**the lyrics written here are taken from Gary Jules’ Mad World—I do not own them**)_

Kyungsoo’s fingers worked through the last notes of the song as Luhan’s voice joined him, sounding strained and rusty in a manner not at all befitting of the Luhan everyone had come to know and love.

It was quiet then, with Kyungsoo shutting the box over the keys in an attempt to keep the dust out. Luhan made his way over to the bench, resigned.

Kyungsoo had done his job. He’d made Luhan forget, made him feel normal once more with that familiar haunting lullaby they had spent a whole year and half perfecting every night. Because in that place, with its tiny white walls, barred windows, and faint smell of hospital grade bleach, they had only had eachother.

Before they left, they had made a pact. After that, they would always have eachother. Even when the world seemed most dark, they could be each other’s most comforting shadow.

“It really is a damn shame I have no interest in you sexually what-so-ever.” Luhan mused aloud.

“I love you too, Lu.” Kyungsoo smiled back softly when Luhan moved to rest his head against the broadening frame of Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

 

*

 

Jongin heard the strains of a piano emanating from the end of the hall, the haunting melody drawing him closer and closer to the end of the hall in a way he couldn’t explain. He wondered briefly if this was going to play out like a scene from a recent horror movie he’d watched, a ghost luring him in before death captured him swiftly.

It wasn’t such an odd notion considering the room was rarely ever used, only ever seeing students desperate for a quick fuck disappear behind its doors.

A familiar voice soon accompanied the lonely tune, sung in a sorrowful English melody.

Kyungsoo.

Jongin approached the corner, taking care to keep himself a spectator only as he took in the scene before him, music audible through the crack in the door, as if someone had meant to close it softly enough so as not to spook the other.

Kyungsoo sat at the piano, fingers flitting over the keys in a grace he hadn’t seen in some time. The sight left him with a hollow feeling in his chest, choking on emotion he refused to put a name to.

He focused on the way the shorter male’s plush heart shaped lips formed the words with a practiced elegance. But it was more than that really, because Jongin knew people couldn’t fake the emotion sang this particular song with. That meant, that Kyungsoo… Kyungsoo had connected to these lyrics on a spiritual level.

The revelation had Jongin swallowing a lump that was forming in his throat. It was only then that he noted the presence of Kyungsoo’s outrageous friend, Luhan. His face was expressionless, eyes upturned as he joined Kyungsoo for the last bit of refrain before rising from his seat as the melody ended in order to join the smaller male on the piano bench.

When he rest his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, the soft smile that emanated from Kyungsoo at the action made Jongin feel like he was intruding. Like he shouldn’t have been there, shouldn’t have witnessed something so private. For the first time, in regards to Kyungsoo at least, he felt like an outsider. Like the outsider he truly was.

He palmed the glass of the small window beside the door that had granted him his view, the glass cool to touch, shocking enough to make him realize he and Kyungsoo really were worlds apart now. Taking one last long look, he sighed with resignation.

Kyungsoo…

“Does it make you uncomfortable, Jongin?”

The brunette whipped around finding himself face to face with…

“That none of your concern, Yifan.” He spat, evenly matched.

“You should.” Kris’ voice came softly as he sauntered over, nodding his head in the direction of the two males still blissfully alone in their own little world.

The reprimand from someone out the situation made Jongin bristle. Or maybe he was just looking to pick a fight with Yifan. Either way, Jongin took the bait.

“This… _he_ , is none of your concern, Wu Yifan. So, I suggest you keep your opinions, and your _hands_ , to yourself.”

Yifan’s eyes sparked with something dangerous, like a predator ready to strike. But Kim Jongin was no prey animal as he stood steadfast, meeting Kris’ gaze evenly.

“You put him through hell. Literal hell, Jongin. So I’ll be _damned_ if I let you do it again let alone take any orders from the likes of _you_.”

The taller male stalked forward, mouth set in a barely contained line as he jabbed a finger at Jongin.

“Besides, you better watch who you’re talking to that way Kim Jongin. I’m no longer the little foreign boy you can make fun of. We all have to grow up some day. Looks like your day is a little further off than others.”

Jongin glared at him with all his strength but Kris was striding away before the looks even had a chance to set in.

It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. In a way, Kris Wu was right. Other days it felt like his childhood had been stolen from him the day he stepped foot on that plane, all happy memories disappearing the second the craft took flight, leaving Kyungsoo to fend for himself in a den full of wolves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a doozy. We're diving into the drama llama factory here.  
> The heat is being turned up on the uber fabulous HunHan pairing.  
> Another part of the Kaisoo past puzzle is revealed!  
> Well....sort of. Expect a dramatic flashback in your near future.  
> Was it what you guys were expecting?  
> LOL. Tell what you guys think in the comments below!  
> Hope you guys like it!  
> (totally spoiling you with all these updates but I couldnt wait. I wrote the Mad World piece ages ago.)


	9. Our White Walled Cage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As a fair warning.....this chapter is heavily trigger laden. Large doses of: self-harm, mental health, sexual deviance, and hints of sexual assault.

_Two and a half years earlier…_

 

Luhan had been alone in the world for as long as he can remember, being passed around from home to home, slum filled orphanage after orphanage until he came of age. After all that time he’d found it kind of fucked up that he found a family only after his childhood had went to complete shit.

Or rather…the Wang’s had found him. They found him in the same facility he was currently in. Quite hilarious in Luhan’s opinion. How he ended up here is really beyond him, but he’d been here for a little under year now in hopes he would “rehabilitate”.

All that time he’d been in institution imposed solitary.

That is… until today.

A boy sniffled on the bed beside him, his face otherwise blank as he sat knees pulled tight against his chest. He didn’t exactly look like he was up for talking but Luhan was too excited to have human to human contact with someone other than the grumpy ass staff to really notice.

What he did notice was large owl like eyes that were glassy with tears unshed, a plush mouth, and glossy dark brown strands that look like they’d never had a drop of dye in them.

“So… roomie, my name is Luhan, what’s yours?” he tried first in Chinese and when he was met with no answer he repeated the sentiment in Korean.

The boy turned his head slowly at the lilt of Luhan’s overly cheery voice but still offered no response so instead of asking Luhan bounded off his bed to pluck at the charts pasted to the back of their door in a document protector.

“Do Kyungsoo. In for… sexual dependency?” Luhan mouthed the words incredulously, as if impressed.

“You’re a nympho?” Luhan asked, playfully eyeing the shorter male who was looking up at him lifelessly, only following Luhan with his eyes as if his body could spare no other movement from lack of energy.

Still Luhan was determined to befriend the smaller male if for no other reason than that he was fucking adorable.  He couldn’t let him rot in this place. Perhaps that’s why he found the lifeless gaze of the aforementioned Do Kyungsoo to be so disconcerting.

“You know the sooner you start talking, the faster you get out of this place.” Luhan confessed smiling benevolently at the boy.

“I’ll be totally honest, the timer doesn’t start until you open up in group. So…you might as well practice on me. Trust me when I say we’ll be spending a lot of time together.” Luhan chattered away, the boy’s eyes straying to the small barred window once more as it was an otherwise tiny white walled room.

 

*

 

He was humming tune only vaguely familiar to Luhan. It had taken 3 weeks before Kyungsoo had uttered even a word to him.

Each week Do Kyungsoo had tried to end his life.

Each attempt left Luhan more flustered than the last until finally….the dam broke.

“WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS, KYUNGSOO?! IF YOU WANT TO DIE AT LEAST DO IT RIGHT!”

Luhan’s words were harsh he knew as he staunched the bleeding at the younger man’s sides.

He’d taken to cutting himself in places people couldn’t readily see these days.

It was very effective but Luhan knew better. Each time the cuts got deeper, more severe. He had to do something about it. Had to find a way to help Kyungsoo because if it weren’t for Kyungsoo trying, it might have been Luhan.

Now Luhan was playing guardian angel and the role wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

Kyungsoo was sobbing now, but it was so harsh that no sound came out, as if his emotions as well as his heart were broken. So Luhan just held him and, eventually, he calmed. Luhan was humming into Kyungsoo’s hair. It smelled strangely good. Like a sort of makeshift home.

“He used me.” Kyungsoo whispered. The words were so faint and hoarse that Luhan thought he might have imagined them, but Kyungsoo kept going.

“He brought me into a world I knew nothing about. He trained me. Like some fucking dog or something. Used my body whenever, _however_ he pleased. He made me like it…” Kyungsoo’s voice only grew to waver as he stumbled over the next few words.

“He made me love him. And then… he left.”

“And I don’t know why.”

From that day on Luhan made a vow, or rather deepened his already strong determination. He would protect Do Kyungsoo.

And if he ever found the bastard that made him like this… he’d castrate him.

 

*

It was the first day he’d lapsed. It was the first time Kyungsoo had seen it, if the scared look in his wide owl like eyes was anything to go by.

Luhan could feel the blood rushing everywhere at once as he screamed, muscles straining at the restraints.

The withdrawals of their respective addictions were intense and they each dealt with it in their own way. In this Kyungsoo and Luhan were remarkably similar. The only difference being Kyungsoo needed the combination of pain and sex to feel normal. He needed to submit.  Luhan had seen it time and time again, Kyungsoo only able to glean some source of release when the sharp object of his choosing bit into his skin teasingly loosing the blood.

Luhan on the other hand was quite the opposite.  It wasn’t about dominance or submission, though he did prefer to top and he did prefer males as well. For Luhan it was about the challenge, the risk, and the admiration. It was about the sheer lust people had for him, about being selective of who he would give himself to. It was about being envied and reveling in it.

But mostly it was about the drugs and how it felt when he was fucking while on the high. Without them, sex was just… sex. Something dirty and filthy and something he’d rather not be a part of. He’d been clean for 6 months and it still felt like just the other day he’d been balls deep in some perky assed blonde.

Which… would turn out to be none other than his future adoptive brother. Which he supposed was fucking weird by normal standards. But when had Luhan ever truly been normal? Not a day in his life. Jackson had taken a shining to Luhan, been insistent that he get help, so sure that he could help Luhan. Give him a real family. Teach him what love was. Jackson was chasing in his own demons when he’d found Luhan and Luhan supposed the blonde had needed a new cause to champion and distract him from whatever was haunting him.

But the affection Jackson and his family shared for Luhan didn’t fade as fast as he’d expected it to.

Before he knew it, he had a family again.

And these people were so much better than those he’d been born to, if only because he got to choose them.  

A day or two later he found himself surrounded by four tiny white walls deprived of all that made him feel alive. Because…without the drugs he’d remember a time when he wasn’t surrounded by the Wang family and the warm fuzzy feeling they ignited when Jackson’s mom had hugged him or at hearing Mr. Wang’s deep baritone hum, or that odd characteristic of Mark’s gummy smile (another constant at the Wang’s home). A time when he hadn’t been able to be selective of who had taken his body. He’d have to recall things he’d really rather not recall.

Not that it mattered. Luhan… Luhan was handed something he found to be akin to a death sentence in a matter of moments.

Well not handed really. He didn’t exactly have a choice but to take what with the gun to his head and all.

Luhan was pulled from his thoughts when Kyungsoo began his low humming. A sad tune that seemed to fill some of the gaps missing in Luhan’s own psyche all the while soothing Kyungsoo’s own wounds as the smaller male scooted a chair close to Luhan’s bed. Wrapping his hand around Luhan’s sweaty palm, he continued to sing, an unspoken bond forming between them. One that they would never be able to break.

It was in that moment that Luhan finally understood Jackson. Like this, with Kyungsoo, with a cause to champion, a special person to protect, life didn’t seem as daunting, his own problems somehow dwarfed by Kyungsoo’s suffering.

It was a welcome distraction when your days were typically filled with wishes that you were dead and scenery that never changed.

 

*

It didn’t take long for Luhan to learn what exactly landed Kyungsoo after that silent day in their room. The admission only served to further Luhan’s resolve as Kyungsoo relived the incident night after night, sobbing in his bed. His body betrayed Kyungsoo despite the horrors, the air always heavy with arousal.

But Kyungsoo hadn’t come to terms with it yet so Luhan left it alone. Left alone the fact that after the nightmares Kyungsoo would often wake with an erection visible even under the moonlight or wet sheets.

“Did you ask him why? Why he spread your pictures… how he got a hold of them… did you ever ask?”

Kyungsoo scoffed at Luhan’s naiveté.

“He was gone before I could blink, Lu. Isn’t that answer enough?”

Luhan shifted uncomfortably because something wasn’t adding up.

“But maybe it wasn’t what you think…”

“He was—“Kyungsoo mumbled half-heartedly and Luhan strained his ears to hear but couldn’t quite catch it.

“Kyungsoo…” he murmured half sympathetically and half in question.

“I SAID HE WAS FUCKING THERE! HE SAW IT ALL LUHAN.” Kyungsoo’s eyes were bulging now, nostrils flaring, eyes glassy, neck straining. He could see why he might make an interesting submissive for some. But Kyungsoo’s temper often seemed to color Luhan’s vision of the whole concept a bit off. There was something Kyungsoo was leaving out. Bit by bit, slowly, a plan was forming in Luhan’s head.

It wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t even sure he could pull it off without losing Kyungsoo entirely.  It didn’t solve the cutting problem, so he’d have to think of something he could do in that regard. But for now Luhan knew what he COULD offer him. Something that might keep them both safe.

With that, Luhan pinned Kyungsoo beneath him in a flash.

“This is going to solve both your problem and mine Soo-ssi. So don’t make it into more than what it is, okay?”

Sinking to his knees and positioning his head between Kyungsoo’s legs, his fingers ghosted at Kyungsoo’s waist band, face nuzzling into the growing bulge.

For a second it looked a little like Kyungsoo’s eyes were going to pop out of his head, his heart shaped lips parted in shock.

And then Luhan’s mouth was wrapped around Kyungsoo and the two of them worked deftly too fill a need all too instinctual, Kyungsoo’s hips canting into Luhan’s warm mouth with a graceless rhythm. It was an action that normally would have disgusted Luhan.

But strangely, with Kyungsoo, it felt entirely too right.

If only for the sated smile that he received as the shorter male drifted to sleep.

On Luhan’s bed no less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO..... we dive further into the thick of things with this chapter (read from Luhan's POV). Now you know a bit of both Luhan's and Kyungsoo's past. Things haven't even gotten as bad they are going to get just yet >.


	10. Of Blood and Traitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features the side pairing of ChanBaek and kind of the reason why Baek is so.... jealous in present day. And also what he knows of Kyungsoo's sufferings in Jongin's absence. It also expands on the misunderstanding between Chanyeol and Baekhyun in the long term and why they can't just...pull their shit together.

_Two years earlier…._

Baekhyun had been eyeing one Park Chanyeol for ages now. Or at least it felt like ages. It was quite literally unfair for someone to be so perfect when Baekhyun was so… not.

Park Chanyeol was an exemplary citizen. A smile that never quite, kind words for almost any and everybody, and big brown puppy dog eyes that could melt your heart in seconds if you dared to stare too long.

And stare Baekhyun had.

Mostly at the back of his head or whenever he was sure the taller male wasn’t looking.

Mostly.

But today, today was unlike any other day. Any other day, any other place, Baekhyun would have been more than happy to see him. Literally would have been over joyed and overly enthusiastic that his crush was in the relative vicinity of him.

Except he wanted nothing and no one to see him _here_ of all places.

Where was _here_ exactly?

St. Vincent’s Rehabilitation Center for the Sexually Deviant.

Or as Baek and a few of the other residents, part timers like himself included, liked to call it, Vinnie’s.

Still seeing Park Chanyeol’s long and lanky form grace the sparsely decorated halls of this particular hell hole had left Baekhyun beyond curious. Because…what the fuck was he doing here?

Or better who was he here to see?

Baekhyun just prayed it wasn’t him. Not that it could be him unless Chanyeol had caught him coming from school one day and decided to follow him and sell the story to the newspapers and then…

Baekhyun’s breath caught in his throat.

And then he’d be remarkably similar to poor pathetic little Do Kyungsoo, the boy his good friend Kim Jongin had dumped so gracelessly, their kinky ass sex photos spread far and wide for all of their academy to see.

It was quite the sad story actually. Baekhyun thanked his lucky stars he didn’t have it so bad as all that. Rather, Baekhyun felt like he didn’t deserve his sexuality or rather… that he couldn’t stand it.

He might have been the heir to a cosmetics empire (their eyeliner WAS rather famous if he did say so himself) but that didn’t mean he was gay.

He COULDN’T be gay. He would disgrace his mother if he were. His father had already ran off with another man as it was. Determined to supply her with some degree of normalcy, Baekhyun had taken to dating Taeyon.

As beautiful as any woman could be she was. But it wasn’t enough. She was soft where Baekhyun wanted hard. Sweet smelling where Baekhyun craved the spicy musky sent of his more masculine peers.

SO, when that fiasco ended less than spectacularly and more on the messy side of things, Baekhyun decided to simply…repress. The choice did not go unnoticed by his mother, who…promptly checked him into Vinnie’s and he spent his evenings listening to the sob stories of some truly kinky ass people.

It was also the one place he felt safe enough to admit his desires.

Except not anymore, what with the most prominent object of his fantasies lurking in the halls for unnamed reasons.

 

*

 

It happened quite frequently that summer, every other day, if not every day, Chanyeol would disappear into the room near the end of the hall. The room that the nurses so frequently visited. They’d been coming less and less in recent days. Baekhyun wondered briefly if it had any connection to Chanyeol’s visits.

Just like the taller male’s visits, Baekhyun had taken to a routine of silently ghosting behind him in the halls as he made his way to the infamous room 112, disappearing behind it for hours at a time only to reemerge just before visiting hours were ready.

Sometimes Baekhyun would hear screaming coming from the room and he prayed it wasn’t Chanyeol, that one of the residents wasn’t hurting him (or worse, fucking him, horribly at that). One time Baekhyun remembered Chanyeol coming out with what looked like spurts of blood dribbled across his stark white tee. Baekhyun hadn’t been able to sleep that night.

It was clear in all that time, whoever Chanyeol was visiting was important to him. Very important. Important enough for him to go to school with blood shot eyes and deep dark bags underneath.

And… apparently, important enough to finally confront Baekhyun and his stalking habits.

“Ya… come on out.” Chanyeol’s voice lilted dangerously, though his back was still facing the corner Baekhyun was concealing himself behind.

Still, Baekhyun made no move, eyes blinking rapidly, sweat beading on his forehead, and his heart thumping too fast to function normally. He knew he should have quit. He should have just confessed already. It didn’t matter who or what was behind that door. He was fucking Byun Baekhyun… why was this so hard?

Oh… right. He was too busy convincing himself he didn’t want Chanyeol’s cock.

“I SAID COME OUT HERE, BYUN BAKEHYUN!” Chanyeol’s voice roared, his body canted in Baekhyun’s direction now. Not that Baekhyun could see, as he was still hiding but the sound had gotten louder.

There was no use in hiding now…

“Chanyeol… I…” he started, trying to think of something, some kind of an excuse. Anything… but nothing came to mind. That is nothing came to mind before Chanyeol was screeching at him again like a wild animal finally having cornered its prey after weeks of repressed hunger.

“Is it not enough that your asshole of a friend put him in a place like this that he has his little…underlings stalking him? Does the guy thrive on misery or something?” Chanyeol spat disdainfully.

“Wha—what?” Baekhyun sputtered, unable to make sense of the words.

“Don’t play dumb, Baekhyun. Here, you know what, let’s show you something good you can report back to the boss, huh?” Chanyeol’s hands were on him then, clasped around his wrists, tugging him roughly towards the room Baekhyun had been so curious about.

Baekhyun could hear the crying, the thrashing, and the soft murmur of a language he didn’t understand, even from outside the door. But then… Chanyeol had thrust him inside, just past the heavy metal door and into the scene of chaos ensuing before them.

There was blood. So much blood, everywhere, as it smeared across the walls and sheets of an otherwise insanely bland room. There was a medicinal tray that clattered to the floor, the nurse was struggling with a syringe, trying to catch a flailing boy’s arm while a sweet faced but taller male was bear hugging the assailant from behind in attempt to secure the boy.

He was bleeding profusely, from his neck, as he managed to have caught an area to close for comfort in Baekhyun’s opinion. It was gruesome scene, but it was still one that Baekhyun might have been able to turn away from if he hadn’t recognized the boy going lax under the sting of the nurse’s needle.

Do Kyungsoo.

The boy with the heart shaped smile that Jongin had cherished so much.

Baekhyun’s hands flew to his mouth and Chanyeol stared at him grimly.

“Take a good look and be sure to report to your _friend_ that Kyungsoo is doing just fucking fine.”

With that Baekhyun was shoved out the door in a gruff manner that had his eyes stinging with tears.

What on Earth happened?

And why had he just been branded a traitor by the boy whose affections he sought to gain the most?

The answer all boiled down to one Do Kyungsoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO.....the side pairings are finally taking shape. I know so many of you want me to delve deeper into the Kaisoo past part of this and trust me I am getting there! A few more things have to happen I think and this is one of them. The development of Chanyeol and Luhan as Kyungsoo's support channel is important. Because it will differ greatly with how he has changed between the Kyungsoo Jongin used to know and how he has kind of morphed into something else with the time he spent away.   
> But next chapter will most likely be set in present day so that we can have a little break from all the flashbacks and get more of the story moving forward <3  
> Hope you enjoyed the BaekYeol angst!


	11. Similarities

“Kyungsoo!”

The familiar voice had Kyungsoo halting in his steps but it didn’t stop him from rolling his eyes.

He thought they had already established they were never supposed to talk in school. Baekhyun had made that distinction quite clear several years ago.

They were friendly enough in private, away from the prying eyes and ears of others. It was a relationship that only naturally occurred after having heard each other’s deepest darkest secrets. What was expected to happen when you were stuck with each other in group therapy for the “sexually deviant”?

(Though Kyungsoo liked to think his tastes were far from deviant and just ran along the side of “eccentric”. Especially having kicked the habit of being a bottom a few years prior.)

He’d settled into his new role just fine after a time. Baekhyun had done the same, effectively banishing himself to the closet forever, intent on “forgetting” the terribly massive man crush he was harboring for Kyungsoo’s roommate, Chanyeol.

To be honest, Kyungsoo could understand his reasoning just not the thought line behind it. Baekhyun… you could say in way felt responsible for Kyungsoo’s condition just following Jongin’s departure.

_“I could have done something. I could have warned you. I should have told you. But it’s not what you think Soo, just listen…”_

Baekhyun had plead with him to see reason, to listen to whatever excuses he might have made for Jongin and his actions but whenever he did Kyungsoo’s incidents only got worse. It wasn’t long before it was clear the subject was not a safe one. So, Baekhyun ceased to try and appease Kyungsoo, instead trying to befriend the other male in ways unexpected.

For example, paying his tuition into University, making sure all if his medical expenses were taken care of, and last but not least, making sure Kyungsoo was roomed with someone he was comfortable with.

Baekhyun was in short an angel for Kyungsoo. But he was angel who preferred to remain anonymous. Because for each thing he did for Kyungsoo he denied every single one of them, brushing off Kyungsoo’s words of thanks with: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Or “must be a miracle.”

It wasn’t as if Kyungsoo hadn’t noticed the way in which Chanyeol and Baekhyun were tense those first few months after his release. Luhan had mentioned that Chanyeol had been rather harsh on Baekhyun in a fit of anger during one of Kyungsoo’s less than lucid episodes.

So, in short, Baekhyun had seen it all and Chanyeol had treated Baekhyun the way he wanted to treat Jongin simply because he was associated with the male that had done Kyungsoo such injustice.

It was these horrible circumstances that Kyungsoo was sure made Baekhyun feel guilty for something he had not even done. Also this cold treatment is probably what kept him from confessing to Chanyeol. Well… that and the fact that he was still adamant he was most definelty not gay, despite the fact that anyone with eyes could see Byun Baekhyun had it bad. Especially if all those “can’t get it up” rumors he’d heard from Taeyon after their break up were true.

“Baekhyun, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” Kyungsoo smiled as wide as he possibly could.

“Don’t sound so excited to see me and keep your voice down. You know the rules.” Baekhyun retorted.

“Of course, wouldn’t want to break any rules.” Kyungsoo snorted as he sent a sideways glance to the boy beside him. They made their way to the roof, a place Kyungsoo was known to have lunch at for some time.

It wasn’t as if their socialization would be seen as odd by any means. Baekhyun was known to have joined Kyungsoo from time to time for lunch on the roof, but he much preferred spending it in the rather high profile location of the table near the water fountain with his equally popular future CEO or VIP somebodies.

In short, Baekhyun liked attention.

Not to mention now that Jongin was back, Kyungsoo was surprised to see him at all. Baekhyun and Jongin had always been rather close friends. Close enough to have made Chanyeol jealous in the past.

“Jongin is back now.” Baekhyun’s voice panned the words out carefully. It wasn’t as if he were saying anything new. Of course Kyungsoo had taken note of that, so Kyungsoo just nodded as Baekhyun slipped a cigarette between his lips, making Kyungsoo’s nose twitch in distaste. Baekhyun was known to have the occasional smoke, though it was not very often unless they were about to delve into some deep, touchy-feely type of shit.

“He’s not going to stay in the dark for long, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun murmured before glancing over at the aforementioned male.

“I know.” Soo managed, voice resigned.

“You don’t want to tell him yourself?” Baekhyun’s voice lilted in surprise as Kyungsoo shook his head slowly.

“What he does, what he knows, who tells him, who he fucks…it’s none of my business anymore, Baek. It was never any of my business to begin with. You know that.”

There was a long pregnant pause. One Kyungsoo knew Baekhyun wanted to fill with excuses but clearly he was thinking better of it.

“You don’t think he’ll be shocked when he learns you tried to kill yourself over him?” Baek exhaled briefly, smoke swirling around them in a haze. Just like Kyungsoo’s memories of his time spent in St. Vincent’s. Just like his time spent with Jongin.

Grabbing the cigarette from Baekhyun’s hand he threw it to the ground and promptly stomped on it, just as he wished he could do those same memories.

“Shit will make you sick. What will you do if you can’t sing anymore?” Kyungsoo huffed in exasperation, clearly done with the subject. Baekhyun just laughed as he choked on the last bit of nicotine filled smoke that had coated his lungs, making his head swim deliciously.

“Something useful with my life. Probably.” Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders, smile wide but bitter.

Memories, just like cigarettes, burn holes in your heart and in your lungs. They become the very air that you breathe. And with people like Chanyeol and Jongin, with memories like those, the painful ones, they aren’t easy to forget just because you remove the source.

Unlike that cigarette you can’t stomp out memories.

It’s more akin to trying to catch smoke.

Baekhyun turned to leave Kyungsoo, pausing at the door when the other male did not follow.

“I wouldn’t ever make any excuses for him, Soo.”

“I know. You know better than to try.” Kyungsoo added disdainfully, a painfully indulgent smile on his heart shaped lips.

Baekhyun really envied those lips. The wonders gloss could do to them. Still the one time Kyungsoo had allowed him to mess with his make-up was also the last time. It really was a shame, because Baekhyun had made him look irresistible. It probably helped that Kyungsoo also wasn’t very lucid for the encounter.

Baekhyun averted his eyes but couldn’t resist adding the last few words. He had to get them out. He just had to.

“I still think you should listen to him. There are two sides to every story, Soo. Two sides to every coin…” Baekhyun trailed off, daring to glance up. He found Kyungsoo to be studying him, hands stuffed in his pockets, and last but not least, with that frustratingly blank wide eyed stare that had so many enraptured just chuckled back at him in a sort of demented half snort.

“I think I’ll take your advice when you can do the same.”

With that Baekhyun left.

Because neither of them had any patience left, both unwilling to budge. Both unwilling to relent.

Too similar. Eerily similar.

Baekhyun only prayed that they might learn from one another someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS!
> 
> So I'm back. This chapter is set in the present. Just a side note....unless you see a time frame up at the top....its a present day chapter. Some people are confused.  
> Confused by why Baekhyun and Chanyeol have a crush on one another after Chanyeol was basically the world's biggest asshole to Baek. Well...things happen in life. Sometimes we lash out against the ones we love. It often leaves us wondering where we went wrong or why we weren't good enough. Also leaves us feeling guilty. 
> 
> TA-DAH. ChanBaek feels. So theres alot of unresolved tension between them and soon youll find out why. Bake is jealous of Kyungsoo but he still feels partially responsible for Kyungsoo's well-being. 
> 
> ANYWAY....tell me what you guys think and if you want me to elaborate on anything further!
> 
> Ah! Last thing. Some people were confused about the chapter where Kyungsoo went all insane with the nude pictures. The nude pictures were LUHAN'S and....(can you guess who else after that club scene?). With Soo and Lu being best buds....Kyungsoo was highly upset not just because someone is tormenting his bestfriend but the fact that someone is doing so in the same manner he himself was tormented.
> 
> That's right. It will all be revealed soon but that's how Kyungsoo was left in HS. Pictures of him and Jongin spread all over the school. Nude pictures at that. Given their 'special' relationship.... you can imagine its probably a million times more embarrassing than just normal naked pictures. Don't worry we'll get into that. 
> 
> So just in case anyone was confused as to why Kyungsoo was freaking out....that's why. He has a sort of PTSD like complex about it. Seeing someone else he cares for go through the same thing was infuriating. So it didnt take much for Kris to infer.....what was going on. 
> 
> Anyway, that's all for now! Leave your beautiful comments and tell me what you think or if you enjoyed the update. More to come soon I promise!
> 
> Until next time,   
> -Illeana


	12. Lion Heart

3 years earlier…

 

Jongin had thought he would never forget the names Lee Taemin and Kim Jonghyun for as long as he lived, but the moment he set his eyes on a particular set of heart shaped lips all rational thought had left his brain and his instincts had taken over almost immediately.

Suddenly all the words his cousin and his first love had imparted as “wisdom” started to make sense.

              _“When you see him, you’ll know just know, Jongin. There won’t be a doubt in your mind…”_

_“It’s not me Jongin, we’re just not meant to be. We’re too similar…”_

Because the only thought he could process as he stared at the shorter male seated beside Junmyeon, fidgeting beneath his laser focus was how badly he needed to wreck him.

_How beautiful he’d be writhing beneath me._

Honestly, Jongin’s breath was taken away.

He simply couldn’t tear his eyes away from the boy Junmyeon was introducing as his…

 

  _Boyfriend._

Kyungsoo could scarcely believe the words. But the way Junmyeon was smiling at him so affectionately he felt they were pulling the whole farce off rather well.

Especially seeing that the butterflies currently floating around in his stomach were far from fake.

Fake dating. Though all the slow kissing and secret smiles Kim Junmyeon had sent his way were all too real.

His feelings for Junmyeon had never been faked though he knew Junmyeon, or Suho as he liked to be called by his close friends, did not feel the same way. Not in the least. He knew to Junmyeon, Kyungsoo was a tool. A means to get his parents off his back, to pass the time, and most importantly a student.

But none of that stopped him from harboring this odd sense of adoration that he just couldn’t shake. So that’s why he when Junmyeon had casually approached him, asking him to pose as his boyfriend for some family dinner, it sent butterflies tumbling in the pit of Kyungsoo’s stomach.

He’d agree just a little too easily. And if the way Kyungsoo was just a tad to amenable to Junmyeon’s light touches, no one said a word.

 

No one said a word because Junmyeon shacking up with somebody just after his break up with his long term boyfriend, Kris Wu, was no surprise. They’d been hot and heavy for the longest… until Kim Junmyeon met the ultra-charismatic, Choi Minho. Yet for some reason, Suho had yet to convince the older boy he was worthy of his time.

In essence, Kim Junmyeon was friend-zoned.

Jongin cut into his beef with a bit too much force making Junmyeon’s companion jump. The action made Jongin smile a little, if only because the smaller male’s large glassy eyes had widened at the noise and it somehow managed to make him look even more incredibly doll like.

Jongin turned to the boy, who sat just beside him at his left.

“My apologies.” He whispered, unable to keep the half smile off of his face as the boy, introduced as Kyungsoo, shook his head vehemently.

“No, it’s fine. You’re fine.” Kyungsoo swallowed the words back when he made the mistake of glancing up and meeting the eyes of the boy seated beside him.

“Am I now?”

If he’d thought Junmyeon had been wildly attractive then this specimen seated beside him was otherworldly. Ethereal. A God sent to live among the mortals.

Thick, full lips, and smiling bedroom eyes stared back at him with interest and more importantly, amusement. Kyungsoo tried to backtrack the conversation in his mind to search for what the other male might find so amusing, when he turned bright red in his seat as he put the words into the context the other boy had meant them.

“I’m flattered you think so highly of me, Do Kyungsoo.” The male beside him sounded once again, teasing him, keeping their exchange at a volume only they were privy to under the noise of Junmyeon’s chatter.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I mean… I didn’t catch your name.” Kyungsoo sputtered, unable to sound in eloquent in any form.

Because now it sounded like he was interested… or incredibly rude if the boy had introduced himself and Kyungsoo had missed it entirely, too focused on Junmyeon and the exciting new title he was carrying (fake or no).

The other male smiled wider and obligingly, which only made Kyungsoo shift to a deeper shade of red. He leaned in closer to Kyungsoo with the excuse of reaching for a bit of bread placed just a little too far for him to reach without accidentally brushing against the younger male in a scandalous fashion that had Kyungsoo swallowing audibly.

“Kim Jongin. Most friends call me Kai, though.” The male’s smile turned innocent once more.

But for some reason Kyungsoo felt a bit like a mouse caught under a lion’s paw, the great cat playing with its prey before swallowing it whole.

Even worse, Kyungsoo felt he might like to be devoured whole by one Kim Jongin.  

 

*

 

_(2 months later…)_

“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!” Suho was screaming at him as Jongin blinked back at him. The blink being the only indication of surprise or just emotion in general that Jongin had betrayed at the elder’s outburst.

“Do what?” Jongin’s tone was sharp and dangerous as his eyes narrowed.

“You STOLE my boyfriend! Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you? We are FAMILY.” Suho seethed.

But Jongin….Jongin just laughed. He couldn’t help it as he pinched at the bridge of his nose.

“Let’s be honest and just say what this is really all about, Junmyeon. You’re upset that I overthrew you from your position at the company and you really just can’t stand to see others win, can you?”

“He is a human being Jongin. He is a GOOD person. I won’t let you continue to do the sick twisted shit you and Taemin are into. I won’t let…”

“What Kyungsoo and I do when we are together is none of your business…”

“He was MY boyfriend…”

“Yeah he WAS. He was your FAKE boyfriend to keep you warm at night while YOU seduced another man behind his back and HE pretended not to care!”

Junmyeon was silent as he took in Jongin’s heaving and practically smug form. The silence was heavy because Junmyeon knew his next words were going to permanently plant a persistent need of doubt into Kim Jongin’s thick skull in regards to Kyungsoo. But this was the only kindness Junmyeon could offer him now. Not to mention, it was all true.

“It wasn’t all fake, Jongin. I… I loved him. I still do.”

Jongin was staring at him with eyes that glinted dangerously and for a moment Suho feared for his life but couldn’t stop the last few words as they poured out of his mouth.

“I always will and I will do whatever it takes to protect him.”

With that Jongin was storming out of the den, not even bothering to look back.

Junmyeon felt sorry for the smaller male’s ass tonight.

Maybe he should offer to rub it in the morning…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So THIS chapter is set in the past. It's literally how Kyungsoo met Jongin. It kind of skips around a LITTLE. But I promise in some fashion you will find out how Kyungsoo and Jongin ended up being in a Sub/Dom relationship. I kind of hinted at it a little bit if you haven't noticed. 
> 
> BE PREPARED FOR SHINEE CAMEOS. I have developed an unhealthy TaeKai obcession of late....so Taemin and also Jonghyun (Because BIAS) will be making appearances in later chapters!
> 
> In any case, I also brought in Suho and where Kai knew Kris from. SuSoo were a thing! Soo's first little innocent love. It's adorable, no? Until that devil Kim Jongin had to come and sweep him away! LOL.  
> ANYWAY. We will be getting some more present day chapters soon!
> 
> Happy Easter folks! Hope you enjoyed the update!
> 
> -Illeana


	13. Fake it to Make it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** A HunHan chapter for the masses**
> 
> For those of you who like the fake dating AU you'll probably like this HunHan side story. And I think anything that was kind of unclear in previous chapters might come out a little clearer.

Kyungsoo woke the next morning, rubbing at his aching back. He’d been curled up in bed beside for Luhan for too many hours to count, afraid the other male might do something stupid if he so much as dared to leave him alone.

“Yah, you can leave when you’re ready, Soo-ssi. I won’t do anything dumb.” Luhan murmured softly at his side, looking up at Kyungsoo, his sickly sweet face struggling to keep his eyes open against the bright sun light after being swollen from the torrent of ridiculous looking tears he’d shed the night before.

Kyungsoo glanced down at the taller male using his arm as a pillow and wordlessly tucked Luhan’s face back into the crook as he let out a sigh.

Was it just his imagination or did Luhan already look a little thinner than yesterday?

“Shut your stupid face and go back to sleep you look like somebody died.”

He felt Luhan chuckle against his chest and the sound did more to warm his heart than he cared to admit.

 

*

 

“Classy. Real classy, Sehunnie.” Baekhyun spat when the blonde male strode into the lounge later that day. Kai glanced up at Sehun with a look of slight amusement.

“Who knew you and the resident Drama Queen himself?” Kai’s voice lilted in mockery as he took in Sehun’s sour face.

“To be honest I’m not even entirely sure what happened that night.” Sehun sighed as he sunk into a nearby chair.

“I don’t buy it. It’s too similar. I mean I know you admire Jongin and all… that much is evident but to sink so low. It’s all so crude.” Baekhyun was sulking. Why he was being so bitchy was anyone’s guess but one thing was clear.

The fact that Sehun and Luhan’s forgotten tryst had led to a hall full of explicit posters in their University was something he was obviously miffed about. But again, _why_ was anyone’s guess. Most likely it had something to do with his reputation in regards to the giant he was crushing on since before Sehun could remember.

“Well, regardless of what Baekhyun thinks, one thing is for certain.” Kai mused as he toyed with the buttons on his jacket.

“Your parents are going to be pissed.”

 

*

“OH SEHUN HOW COULD YOU BRING SUCH SHAME ON YOUR FAMILY?!”

His mother was shrieking now and he’d barely stepped in the door. He did his best to remain stoic, something he was rather good at his father having gifted him his rather famous resting bitch face.

“Eomma…” he began, trying to soothe her.

But it was no use. It never was. He really ought to have known better.

That’s why when he felt the sting of her hand ring across his face he wasn’t all that surprised.

Annoyed, but not surprised.

“You always smack first without taking action dear, it’s really not all that helpful.” Sehun’s father chuckled bemused.

“You would laugh at the shame he has brought to our family?” her voice reached new levels and Sehun squeezed his eyes shut in attempt to drown out the sound.

Or at least calm his now aching temples.

“He was found in bed with another man! He was the one TAKING it!”

Sehun couldn’t help the way his body withdrew in disgust at the idea of his mother knowing not only his sexual preferences but analyzing the photos with enough scrutiny to know who was taking what.

“Yes. I am aware. Come, let us get ready for dinner.” His father insisted and for once Sehun might have been a smidge grateful.

“We must prepare for our guests.” His father added softly, jostling his wife who blinked up at him as if to ask ‘what guests’. Sehun couldn’t help mimicking the action especially with that cunning glint in his father’s eye.

Sehun could only pray that the guests might save him from further abuse. He wasn’t sure he could handle himself with any sort of composure given the current situation.

 

*

 

Luhan was trembling. He hated the idea. Hated it. Absolutely rejected the idea. But the Wangs had insisted that it was the best option for them to handle the scandal at hand and Luhan couldn’t find it in himself to refuse them, well, anything.

They were his family. And he’d nearly trashed their reputation. He’d do just about anything to fix it.

That included attending what was sure to be a tense family dinner with the Oh’s to talk strategy.

Because essentially, Oh Sehun would be his boyfriend from today onward.

Well…fake boyfriend.

If he would have him.

Not that Sehun had much of a choice. His family had promised they would see to that.

Still the thought of confronting the younger male made Luhan’s stomach churn.

“Luhan…” Mark’s voice trailed quietly, a hand laying soothingly on his thigh and Luhan looked over at him, tearing his gaze away from their current occupation (staring blankly out the window in misery).

“Everything is going to be alright.” He squeezed the plump muscled flesh under his hand in reassurance and Luhan offered him a weak smile.

He didn’t deserve such people in his life. He really didn’t. The entire time after this fiasco all he could think was: what have I done?

The only answer he could come up with as he watched Jackson curl his hand around Luhan’s with a wordless goofy smile was: Nothing good.

Maybe Luhan wasn’t worthy of family but if this was what it felt like….

God did he want to be.

He’d give his soul to be good enough for these people.

So as his feet met the pavement of the meticulously bricked drive of the Oh’s mansion, he straightened his back ready to subject himself to whatever the Wang’s would will him to do.

 

*

 

Sehun couldn’t believe it. His eyes flicked up at the boy seated across from him, his face carefully schooled unlike Sehun’s own as he processed the words that had rang out across the room with such finality.

Luhan was calmly sawing at the meat on his plate while Sehun’s jaw was clenched as tight as possible to prevent it from falling agape once more at the situation in which he now found himself.

Or rather they found themselves.

Being the youngest of the bunch both Luhan and Sehun were seated nearest the end of the table. But Sehun couldn’t keep the bite out of his voice when he finally managed to find words.

“I find it hard to believe that you have nothing to say about this, Luhan.”

Luhan seemingly ignored the younger male, continuing to push at the food on his plate, the metal of his silverware grating at the fine porcelain. An action that was likely done on purpose, if for no other reason than to annoy or attempt to drown out Sehun.

“We were careless. I will do what is necessary to fix this.” Luhan drawled at long last, peering up at Sehun from under long lashes and smiling sweetly at the male on his left when he a large hand came to rest between his shoulders.

 Sehun’s jaw twitched and he couldn’t help it. It made him sick. The thought of someone controlling his life. The fact that he really had no wiggle room. The fact that he probably wouldn’t be able to have sex for months with Luhan branded as his “boyfriend”. The fact that his father had won.

“You can’t do this, father. I object. I won’t submit to this.” Sehun hissed under his breath menacingly.

If he left Kai alone he would almost surely run back to that little owl eyed freak and then where would he be. And for what? All because he’d got drunk and fucked the school slut in a club?

What he really needed to find out was who had set him up. Who had snapped those pictures? Who wanted him off the market? He’d had a deal. A plan to capture Kai and it was going so well. Plus, the sex was nothing short of amazing.

Surely better than anything Luhan could offer.

At least….he thought so.

Really that whole experience was rather foggy.

He couldn’t even be sure he’d actually had sex with Luhan, let alone remember how it had felt.

Luhan… Luhan was a wrench in the plan. An unforeseen obstacle. Especially if that steely glare he was sending Sehun’s way was anything to go by.

The next few months while the scandal subsided was going to be rough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.....Im working on the Kyungsoo/Jongin chapter now. I felt like what with the news of Kaistal I hit a bit of a rock and a hard place that resulted in a block because....Kaisoo is basically my otp and I was seriously disappointed (oddly enough) but I wish Kai to be happy so....I dont know. I have very mixed feelings. I honestly didnt expect them to be so strong lol. In any case, I sidetracked myself with some HunHan feels. Getting back to writing will be easy enough now that Ive started one fic. Hope you enjoyed it. Im sorry for such sporadic updates.


	14. Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Present Day

The summer was hot to put it lightly. Kyungsoo hung his head at the desk Yifan had given him. As an employer, he’d been exceedingly generous for someone who was just a student. But to be fair, Kyungsoo kept him out of more than his fair share of scrapes and scandals concerning a few of his less desirable artists.

Or rather less careful artists that he represented. Like the one that sat before him at the moment.

“Ms. Meng—“

“It’s Jia.”

“Right. Jia, you have to be more careful or I cannot continue to let Mr. Wu represent you.”

Jia didn’t seem to be impressed, arms crossed as she smacked her gum, face unflinching at the thinly guised threat.

“Where is Kris, anyway?”

Kyungsoo’s heart shaped lips pinched up into a less than gracious smile at the way she called his boyfriend so familiarly.

“Let me make something abundantly clear since you don’t seem to understand…”

Kyungsoo slid a plain manila folder over at her. He knew what was inside as did she.

“It’s not my business to keep tabs on Yifan, be it what or who he does. But I won’t stand for such blatant personal disrespect, Meng Jia. I suggest you clean up your act before these manage to find their way to the press.”

Her eyes widened at this as she gripped in shaking fingers the folder.

“Is that a threat?” she quipped, struggling to keep the terror out of her voice.

Kyungsoo only smiled wolfishly before averting his eyes.

“What do you think?”

She swallowed, though managed to keep it less than audible before she spoke once more, scooting her chair out in haste, spine ramrod straight.

“I think we’re done here.” She sputtered and excused herself nearly wordlessly, folder in hand.

Huang Zitao, Kris’ most favorite bodyguard stood tall and wordless in the corner but Kyungsoo could feel his eyes on him.

“What is it Zitao?” Kyungsoo mused, large owl eyes locked with the taller and tan male’s feline gaze.

“Nothing.” The boy responded stubbornly.

“Be honest.” Kyungsoo sucked in a breath, grinning eerily at the other male.

“You’re just a bit scary, is all.” Tao relented.

To this the smaller male only chuckled darkly.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

 

*

 

“Jia is behaving quite well all of a sudden.” Kris confides in him as they sit on the pier, chunks of watermelon in their hands, a cool treat under the hot rays of the summer sun.

They rarely got to do this. Go on a real date. It had been mostly work, school, and avoiding Jongin like the plague, despite the boy being virtually everywhere.

As such, Kyungsoo worked hard to push the aforementioned boy from his mind. He really would just quit school altogether if it weren’t for Yifan’s insistence that he continue and graduate, going as far as to making it a condition to him keeping the position he now occupied in Galaxy Enterprises.

As far as boyfriends go, Kyungsoo couldn’t fault Kris. He wasn’t sure when they’d made it official but they had and it was equally hard to remember exactly how their first night together had went. It wasn’t that it wasn’t pleasurable, as Kris was particularly amorous in their relationship.

It was just a little…lackluster… for Kyungsoo.

But still good. Yeah, still good. It was certainly different. The way Yifan touched him in comparison to the way Jongin had touched him and the way he touched others was very different. Yifan was the first person Kyungsoo had felt comfortable giving himself too after Jongin, if for no other reason than body proportion wise it was nearly unfeasible to picture him topping.

Not that Yifan hadn’t tried to convince him otherwise.

 

_“You have like a monster dick. How can I not have that inside me at least once?”_

Kyungsoo giggled intensely at the memory and the sound had Yifan smiling down at him, a haze of sunshine making him glow like an angel that Kyungsoo far from deserved.

“Yah, you have a bit of juice just…” Kris murmured, smile never fading as he leaned in to mouth at what Kyungsoo was sure was imaginary watermelon juices.

But he allowed for the sickeningly sweet gesture anyway. He loved this side of Kris. It made his heart do weird little flips even if other days it made his stomach turn thinking of the other person occupying a small part of Kris’ life.

Kyungsoo knew. He knew about Kris’ “submissive”. It was a term that Kyungsoo could use lightly to describe Kris and his partner as in respect to the dynamic Kyungsoo and Jongin had shared it was decidedly tame. Who exactly Kris’ partner was Kyungsoo had chosen to remain ignorant of. Putting a face and name to the body that made his heart twist a bit was like asking for heartache.

And as much as Kyungsoo liked pain, he care for that particular brand of it.

“How many people have you tried that line on?” Kyungsoo laughed sweetly, trying to disguise the probe as he playfully shoved Yifan away.

Yifan peered down at his hands for a moment smile dropping before he pasted it back on, an action that did not go unnoticed by Kyungsoo.

“Well….you’re the first one it’s actually worked on.” Kris bumped his shoulder and Kyungsoo answered with a genuine smile.

Trust in Yifan to be unable to lie even in matters as important as the heart.

Or perhaps Kyungsoo wasn’t as important as he thought.

Either way, Kyungsoo knew that Yifan was more than just another fling for him. He was an experiment of sorts, he was something different than Kyungsoo had ever known.

Things may be a bit more vanilla than he liked but that didn’t make it bad.

When Yifan’s fingers tangled in his on the sly, Kyungsoo was forced to discern that: no, different wasn’t bad.

Different was... different.

And he kind of liked it.

 

*

 

Kyungsoo had been far too lucky to have avoided Jongin for so long. So when he was forced to meet up with him for the project they had both avoided until the last minute, he was less than enthused. Kris had also insisted that Kyungsoo work to conquer his past with Jongin.

 

_“I don’t know much of your history, but it’s clear you and Jongin meant something to one another.”_

_“And you aren’t afraid of me meeting him alone?”_

_“No. I trust you, Kyungsoo.”_

He sighed as he paused to knock at Jongin’s door. It made Kyungsoo feel a little too relieved that Yifan was a mere few floors away in the same building. At the same time it also made him incredibly anxious.

Just as he poised his fist to knock, the door swung open, the pale blonde from the library was making his exit, hair slightly disheveled and looking rather smug when his eyes set upon Kyungsoo.

Unexplainably, Kyungsoo glared back before Jongin’s shirtless form filled his vision.

“Sorry to interrupt.” He grumbled, standing their petulantly, lips drawn tight as Sehun continued to smirk smugly.

“Oh. Soo-ssi… Sehun was just leaving.” Jongin shoved the blonde out the door before inviting Kyungsoo in, the door closing with a soft whoosh behind them as Kyungsoo made his way further into the space.

Kyungsoo would have paid a large sum of money to have captured the narrow slits Sehun’s eyes had slipped into as the door shut behind him, just as he couldn’t help the triumphant smile ghosting across his lips.

“That’s an expression I haven’t seen in a while.” Jongin commented dryly, a familiar smile spread across his face as he studied the smaller male. Kyungsoo struggled to pull himself back to the situation at hand, wide eyes blinking as they took in the massive amount of bare skin Jongin was displaying. His eyes settled on a rapidly darkening bruise near the base of his neck, still fresh from Sehun no doubt.

“Tasteless.” Kyungsoo murmured, eyes drawn to the sight as his fingers ghosted over the spot, entirely too close to touching but not quite close enough, fingertips just grazing. When Kyungsoo looked up he found Jongin’s eyes on him, dark and hooded, a look all too familiar. It was a gaze he used to yearn for. Even now his blood hummed in his veins.

“Since when do you let others mark you so blatantly? It’s tasteless, Jongin.” Kyungsoo whispered caught in the gravity of Jongin’s open stare, unable to look away.

Yet still he refused to bow to this challenge. Pushing at Jongin’s chest with his fingers he put some much needed space between them, effectively breaking the spell.

“Go put on a shirt. We have work to do.”

 

*

They had been working on the song for hours and Jongin thought his throat was going to explode. It seemed his voice was never quite right for Kyungsoo as the smaller male put him through a series of vocal exercises followed by a repetition of verse after verse, perfecting subtle inflections, and experimenting with Jongin’s range.

It was new, allowing Kyungsoo to dictate anything that Jongin did. Well, not entirely new, but Kyungsoo would never understand that, nor had Jongin ever wanted him to. Many times throughout their relationship, Kyungsoo’s feelings, his moods, his personality, his constant presence in Jongin’s life had become a deciding factor in many of the things Jongin did.

Still allowing for such blatant control was very new and it almost rankled at Jongin. He had to keep reminding himself that although Kyungsoo was here before him, all creamy pale skin and wide glassy eyes, he did not belong to Jongin. It was a hard pill to swallow for Jongin after such a lengthy relationship.

They had been together the longest. Jongin had taken on a few other submissives before meeting Kyungsoo but was unsuccessful in finding one he’d felt that inexplicable urge that Taemin had described.

Lee Taemin. A name Jongin would likely never forget. Jongin found it funny that he’d taken to playing the role of dominant as fast as he had given the complete and utter submission he’d first been introduced to. Lee Taemin had looked unassuming and yet so strikingly similar to himself it was almost a novelty when they fucked, like a mirror looking back at the other. Kyungsoo had always described him as a narcissist. A point Jongin was hard pressed to refuse back in the day, so perhaps that’s why he’d been so drawn to Taemin.

It didn’t take Jongin long to fall madly in love with Taemin. They had so much in common, a love of dance, the rush of performing, similar looks, and a penchant for romanticism. So when Taemin had decided to dabble in the realm of dominance and submission, Jongin had followed blindly.

But really he should have known better.

How could he not have seen it coming?

Taemin had to have learned of these acts from somewhere. He just hadn’t expected it to be Jonghyun. He was his brother for God’s sake. Didn’t Taemin have any common decency?

 

_“One day you’ll understand, NiNi. It’s just not the same. I can’t—I can’t do it anymore. I’m just not suited for it.”_

That was the day Jonghyun stole Taemin away for good, leaving a broken hearted Jongin behind, love unrequited and unconfessed.

Taemin, the man he would follow blindly had submitted to someone else.

And that someone else…was not him.

Just as Kyungsoo’s someone else was not him.

 

“Jongin-ah, please pay attention, I do not want to waste the time I had to request off work.” Kyungsoo’s voice reprimanded with a harsh sigh that parted his lips in a most inviting manner.

His thoughts still full of Taemin’s betrayal and Kyungsoo’s subsequent disobedience and lack of submission had Jongin’s head swimming the words striking at Kyungsoo before he could take them back. Jongin wanted to wound him, to make him hurt, just as he was hurting. He wanted Kyungsoo to understand what he was feeling.

“Is it fun sharing your boyfriend?” Jongin mused, knowingly prodding a sore subject.

Kyungsoo was stubbornly sifting through the sheet music in his hands, eyes trained hard on the paper.

Jongin chuckled, determined to ruffle Kyungsoo’s feathers.

“I mean, I can’t really blame him, his bodyguard, what’s his name… Z…Zi…..something exotic—“Jongin continued and then Kyungsoo was looking at him. Good. Jongin liked having Kyungsoo’s eyes on him and him alone, no matter the catalyst.

“Zitao…” Kyungsoo offered, voice small. At that moment Jongin may have hated himself a bit with the way the shorter male was beginning to resemble a small wounded animal. He pushed the feeling aside, letting his vicious words cover the urge to protect and shield the other in effort to soothe his own pride. In the end he needed Kyungsoo to come back to him. At this point Jongin was willing to do whatever it takes. But he would make sure Kyungsoo would come willingly. He didn’t want to force him. As to why that was, Jongin didn’t care to analyze.  

“…anyway, he’s gotta be quite the fuck. Very whiny if you haven’t noticed, easy to scare, easy to make submit. On top of that Yifan has you.” Jongin winked, forcing a wolfish grin onto his face.

“Kris must be insatiable.”

With that, Kyungsoo fled.                  

They never did finish that song.

Jongin slid down the wall, refusing to admit that the liquid gathering at the corners of his eyes was anything close to tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update took so long. I was working out some kinks plot wise and trying to think of how I wanted to develop things in regards to Kyungsoo and his relationship with Kris/Jongin. Hope you guys enjoy. Let me know if you want more Krisoo fluff bits lol. I enjoyed the watermelon bit. It was just very....Kris.   
> Anyway, let me know what you think of the update! Comments are LIFE!


	15. Master Do

Kyungsoo had worked to make peace with the information Jongin had so gracelessly bestowed upon him. Kris’ submissive was none other than Zitao, his favored…”bodyguard”. It made sense to Kyungsoo now. The ways in which Kris babied Tao, the way he was always around, and how hesitant he had been when introducing Kyungsoo to Tao.

In all the information Kris had imparted in that folder he’d drawn up for Kyungsoo, the identity of his submissive was not included. It was a piece of information Kyungsoo had been both relieved and disappointed not to find. Relieved because finding out in that manner would be rather tactless but disappointed because it felt as though he was competing for Yifan’s affection with someone he’d never even seen. A ghost, if you will.

Now, Kyungsoo wasn’t sure how he felt about it other than disappointed. Disappointed that Kris was lying to him so blatantly, that his submissive was hidden in plain sight.

The fact that he now knew the identity of his boyfriend’s infidelity grated on him and managed to seep into their time together despite Kyungsoo’s self-scolding sessions. He found himself more and more irritated with just Zitao’s presence, a fact the younger man seemed to not to miss. Kyungsoo never claimed to have good control over his temper since his release from St. Vincent’s. Despite posing as a dominant and that providing some form of catharsis, Kyungsoo couldn’t help but miss certain aspects of his former life. Especially with the way Jongin had been smirking at him all week whenever Kris had his arm draped around Kyungsoo and Zitao was glowering at them from behind.

Kyungsoo knew that look. That feeling. The weight of Tao’s glares spoke volumes for the relationship that existed between Kris and the Chinese male. It also hinted at what was so sorely lacking, what Kris was apparently blind to.

But none of it mattered. For whatever reason, Kris had chosen him, had chosen normalcy. For now, Kyungsoo would cling to that. For some reason Kyungsoo got the sense that Kris was trying to make the same change in his life that Kyungsoo was.

A normal life. A normal love. Just existing normally when your only interest, and in Kyungsoo’s case means of surviving, seemed to thrive on something so painfully different and vibrant in a seemingly colorless world.

The shrill sound of the phone cut through the air stirring Kyungsoo from his thoughts as he stood at his desk gathering his things, ready to retire for the evening.

“Do Kyungsoo.” His voice cut swiftly until he heard Kris’ soft chuckle filter through the line and his shoulders went from rigid to relaxed at the sound.

“Putting in the late hours I see.” Kris mused.

“I was just about to leave.”

“Soo, I leave for Hong Kong in an hour or two…” Yifan trailed and Kyungsoo let out a soft sigh.

“I am aware.”

“Always competent. I like that. But listen, Soo, I need you to do me a favor.”

“…”

“I didn’t…I didn’t wish to tell you this way but… Zitao is very special to me, he requires a sort of special care and with me being gone on such important business I can’t bring him along….”

“…”

“It’s just that he’s….my submissive.” Yifan’s voice sounded small and breathy, and Kyungsoo felt a sort of perverse pleasure in the way that Kris seemed to be almost afraid of his response but also rather annoyed.

“I am aware.” Kyungsoo said curtly, annoyed because only Kris would have the gall to do this over the phone as if that didn’t speak volumes for their relationship.

“Are you now?” Yifan’s voice morphing back to normal to hold a mixture of surprise, amusement, and a tad bit of what almost sounded like anger.

Once more Kyungsoo was silent, afraid he’d bit off more than he could chew so to speak.

“I wasn’t aware you were familiar with such arrangements. Do you have much experience in these matters, Soo-ah?” Kris’ voice drawled and Kyungsoo swallowed roughly, almost wishing he’d kept his fat mouth shut.

Almost.

“Enough to understand the meaning Yifan. What is your favor? Aren’t I doing enough work for you as it is?” Kyungsoo teased, working to keep his voice light. There was yet another heavy moment of silence before Yifan chose to speak again, he was either weighing his words carefully with regards to his request or deciding on whether to call Kyungsoo on his obvious bullshit lie.

“While I’m away, can—can you take care of him, Soo? I don’t trust anyone with either of you. He will keep you safe and hopefully, you will do the same.” Kris sighed and Kyungsoo could just picture one of his big hands sifting through his locks nervously as he awaited the smaller male’s response.  

“We are both grown men, Yifan. Neither of us particularly like eachother and I truly don’t see why this is necessary. It’s only a week. However, we don’t—dislike eachother I suppose.…” Kyungsoo mumbled into the receiver. More like grumbled under his breath.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, consider it taken care of, Yifan.”

“Thank you Kyungsoo. I’ll see you soon.”

Kyungsoo didn’t once get that warm and fuzzy feeling that Yifan typically elicited, instead the request seemed to sink into his stomach like a weight he could get rid of, ready to drown himself in the water that was quickly starting accumulate in a puddle at his feet.

 

*

 

It was 3 a.m. on a Wednesday, just three short days after Yifan had left. Well, two and a half but who’s counting. There was only a handful of people Kyungsoo could imagine was knocking at his door at this hour and none of them included the person actually on the other side of the cherry wood colored barrier.

Chanyeol had roused from his sleep, bleary eyed and mumbling when Kyungsoo stumbled toward the door, in no mood to greet whomever it may be.

Especially not Huang Zitao, whose exotic almost feline features graced his presence when the door was finally wrenched open by a disgruntled Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo took in his haggard appearance, eyes glistening with tears, not that it was unusual for Tao to be crying, the boy seemed in a near constant state of crying or whining about something or other. The rims of his eyes were red though as if he’d been at it for days now, the bags under his eyes only adding to knowledge that he’d likely gotten little to no sleep. Kyungsoo could think of only one reason Tao would be here and he prayed to whatever divine being might be above reigning over them that he wasn’t here for _that_.

But God seemed to hate Do Kyungsoo.

“Kyungsoo-ssi. Please…” Zitao pleaded, breathless as apparently he’d ran here or dragged himself through the halls, drained of energy that he’d become the desperate mess Kyungsoo saw before him. Still. He wouldn’t make this easy for the boy. He still prayed Tao wouldn’t ask him to do what they both knew he needed.

“Zitao. What are you doing here? It’s three in the morning. Don’t you have any decency?” Kyungsoo’s voice rumbled deep and gravelly, voice uncontrollable as it was always rusty after being awakened from sleep.

Tao chuckled in an odd, almost humorless way before turning those cat like eyes rather pointedly on Kyungsoo. “You’re not going to make this easy are you?”

Kyungsoo said nothing, his large owl eyes just blinking at Zitao expectantly.

_You can’t get something for nothing._

Shaking the words of Kim Jongin out of his head he stared up at Zitao ready to send him on his way when Tao interjected.

“I know about you and Kim Jongin.”

Kyungsoo’s head turned sharply at this, his peripheral hearing picking up the sounds of Chanyeol’s sleepy groans and shuffling as he began to stir from the light infiltrating the hallway.

“What do you know about me and Kim Jongin, Zitao? There’s nothing—“Kyungsoo’s voice began low and grew higher in pitch, though he tried to control the nerves and dismiss the younger boy.

“I know you were dating in high school. I know what happened. But most importantly—“Zitao’s eyes fixed on Kyungsoo as a slow calculated smirk graced his lips.

“I know just how deep the rabbit hole goes Kyungsoo. I know that you were like me and Kris. That you were his submis—“

And then Tao’s jaw was in his hand with an almost crushing force, causing the taller male to whimper as Kyungsoo brought Zitao level with him, body radiating the very thing he’d come seeking out Kyungsoo for. Dominance.

“You know nothing.” Kyungsoo seethed between clenched teeth. “You think you and I are the same but we’re not Zitao.”

“How is it any different?” Zitao asked with a whine that woke Chanyeol from his slumber.

“Out.” Kyungsoo said sternly and Zitao pouted, turning to leave once Kyungsoo had released him when a hand clamped on his wrist.

“Not you. Chanyeol, OUT.” The smaller male huffed.

With a few grumbles and complaints, Chanyeol lumbered out of the room, wandering down the hall aimlessly before disappearing around the corner.

Zitao might have been worried if he weren’t so excited. This had to mean he would get the release he came to Kyungsoo seeking, even if he had had to practically blackmail the shorter male. Zitao knew Kris would not approve but he had said Kyungsoo would take care of him and when Tao had managed to read Kyungsoo’s file and put together the rest of the rumors floating around at school rather succinctly, he couldn’t help but be curious. Yet, the look in Kyungsoo’s eyes had him faltering a bit at the finish line. What if Kyungsoo gave him more than he could handle? What if he hurt him? Why did that thought excite Zitao? He almost wanted Kyungsoo to be rough and unforgiving. It was something he never got from Kris.

All he could do for now though was stare at Kyungsoo’s slight frame, shoulders oddly broad and tense as he worked to retrieve something buried beneath the shorter male’s bed. A small chest of sorts and Zitao would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious as Kyungsoo fingered the locks tentatively before addressing Tao, back still to him.

“You said you knew how deep the rabbit hole goes, Zitao, but somehow I highly doubt that.” Kyungsoo chucked as he rather more decidedly, opened the lock with a small dark key that hung from a cord around his neck. Zitao waited for Kyungsoo to elaborate. He would be patient and wait for the offer Kyungsoo was now bound to make.

“Jongin and I were not like you and Yifan. Yifan only dabbles in the realm of dominance and submission. I know. I’ve seen the two of you a few times on the cameras before I deleted the evidence.”

The announcement that Zitao had somehow become an unknown voyeur made him hot all over with both embarrassment and pride. Kyungsoo had turned to him then, a knowing smile on his face as he fingered at the things in his secret box with reverence.

“Forgive me. I haven’t seen the contents of this box for some time. It’s almost nostalgic.” Kyungsoo chuckled darkly and beckoned Zitao over with a soft crook of his finger. The younger male obeyed, eyes widening as he surveyed the contents. Toys, so many toys of all shapes, sizes, and materials lay in the box. Things made of leather and metal and wood that Tao didn’t even know if they had names though his eyes caught on the flogger before he noticed that Kyungsoo’s eyes were on him rather than the box. Picking up the leather device along with several stretches of long sheer fabric before closing the box once more.

“If you want what I suspect you came here for, there are set rules to follow Zitao and you must be sure to adhere to them or I promise you that punishment will be the least of your worries.”

Zitao shivered when Kyungsoo crossed to him, fingers working at the buttons of his black dress shirt.

“First, you will address me as Master Do, not Kyungsoo or any other variation of my name. I will call you as I see fit unless you have any true objections to any particular name. Second, you understand that the treatment you are about to receive is likely radically different from anything you have experienced with Yifan as I am not in love with you and you are not in love with me—“

Zitao let out a slight sound of protest, uncomfortable with the direction of conversation. That meant that Kyungsoo knew and yet was still going through with this…

“But why…”

“Third, you will not, now or ever again, make any mention towards the illicit relationship between me and one Kim Jongin. As far as you are concerned you know nothing or I shall tell Kris all about your very special feelings for him which you and I both know would ruin whatever the hell it is the two of you call yourselves.”

Zitao was now successfully shirtless and Kyungsoo’s hands had shifted to make quick teasing plays at the zipper of his skinny jeans, an action that had Zitao moaning lowly embarrassingly enough.

“Lastly, whatever happens in this room, you tell Yifan nothing. If he asks you come up with something, anything but the truth Zitao. I don’t care what it is you tell him, but if you tell him everything that happens tonight in earnest, I will end you in whatever way I possibly can.”

Zitao shivered, his skin bare to the world as Kyungsoo looked him up and down, waiting expectantly for the younger to step out of the puddle of his clothes that lay at his feet, the shorter male’s hand outstretched. Zitao swallowed hard and reached out to take it just as Kyungsoo pulled his hand back.

“Are we agreed Zitao?”

“Yes.” He nodded hastily.

Kyungsoo’s thick eyebrow quirked upward. “Yes….what?”

Zitao swallowed once more as he placed his hand in Kyungsoo’s, the pale hand wrapping around his when he answered: “Yes, Master Do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's literally been forever since I updated anything and I do truly apologize. I found out....Im expecting! A baby....like an actual living breathing little human being. It terrifying and a huge life change but my husband and I are pretty happy. Anyway, I hope that you guys were able to bear with me and as tomorrow is my birthday (June 7th, Ill be 26 *dear God*) I wanted to post SOMETHING as a gift to my ever so patient readers. I think Ill also so be starting some editing and bonus chapters for a few of my other stories as it feels so nice to write again. I hope all my readers are well....especially my exo-ls out there....comeback is in a few short days and teasers already got me in a tizzy! Until next time!


	16. Wish I May

It had been a long week for Yifan. His skin had begun to crawl after the fourth day of the trip to his homeland. He itched and ached in ways he could hardly imagine and though he felt some small amount of guilt at the idea, he needed Zitao’s body beneath his own.

From now on no more long trips without the other male beside him to help him with his…frustrations. Or it may not be good for anyone’s sanity. He’d thought he’d be able to abstain if he just weaned himself off, distracted himself with someone nice, someone normal.

Which is why quiet, unassuming, Do Kyungsoo had seemed so very appealing. He found he liked Kyungsoo very much but it was hard to feel the desire he felt for Tao for the smaller male.

Although, after that rather interesting conversation he’d had regarding Tao, Kris might have to delve a little deeper past that seemingly calm exterior.

Zitao was waiting for him on the small balcony that overlooked the quad, curled up, knees tight to his chest, onto one of the stools. His back faced Yifan as Kris stepped out into the crisp morning air, sunlight rising over them.

“Glad you’re already here.” Kris murmured coming up from behind to wrap his arms around the blonde male, who jumped with surprise at the sound of his voice.

Odd. Then again, Zitao was often quite whiny and easily taken by surprise despite his profession of choice and skills. When Tao said nothing but only let out a halfhearted murmur of greeting, Yifan knew something was off.

“I was just leaving actually. I had only wanted to borrow your bathtub.” Tao said sheepishly, gathering the remnants of a terry white bathrobe around his form, making haste for the door when Kris closed the door with a thud almost as fast as Tao had opened it.

“What’s wrong, Tao?” Yifan demanded, well muscled arms forming a neat little cage that Zitao had to somehow convince himself to leave the safety (and temptation) of.

“I just don’t think Kyungsoo would like to find you like this. He already knows about us now and I feel kind of guilty and—“

“I know. I told him. If he were going to leave me over it, he would have already done so.” Kris said smugly, reaching for the blonde’s body as he pressed in on him.

But it was exactly that weight that he loved so much, those wandering fingers that pushed past the cloth barrier that had him whimpering in pain. A sound he couldn’t disguise if he had tried.

“Baby? Are you okay? Are you hurt somewhere?”

Almost instantly he thought:  _I’m so sorry Kyungsoo._

*

 

They were in a quiet study room when the door suddenly blast open, causing Jongin to flinch on the bench beside him, voice strangled in the note he was holding and Kyungsoo’s own fingers paused over the piano keys.

The doorway held an enraged Yifan, nostrils flaring, his hand clasped around the wrist of a bedraggled looking Zitao, whose bathrobe was gracelessly wide open, displaying bits of his bared body. Not that Kyungsoo could care much, he was too focused on the look of outrage on Yifan’s face. He couldn’t help but feel a bit sheepish when Jongin moved from the bench and Yifan edged dangerously closer, dropping Zitao’s wrist in a fit of anger. Kyungsoo didn’t know what to address first so he went with what was safe.

“So…I see you’ve returned. How was your--”

“Don’t even bother asking. You…no longer work for me.” Yifan scoffed jabbing a finger in Kyungsoo’s direction.

“I see. So, I can assume this is about Zitao…”

“OF COURSE THIS ABOUT ZITAO!” Kris was bellowing now. Kyungsoo, to his credit barely flinched though inwardly he was dying and working to compartmentalize and failing.

“You—You’re a fucking monster.”

“You asked me to take care of him…”

“I asked you to look after him, not maul him senseless. Christ, what did you beat him with? Was your jealousy that bad that you couldn’t contain yourself once I was gone?”

Kyungsoo could feel the bitterness rising in his throat and worked to stop the glassy sheen he knew was building in his eyes.

“Stop it. You don’t get to fucking cry. Zitao is the one who gets to cry.”

“I don’t know what hurts more the fact that he was the one who asked for it or that you went to see him first when I’M supposed to be your BOYFRIEND.” Kyungsoo’s voice broke while trying to deliver the steely words he intended to scold Yifan but his delivery failed.

“You think I’d believe Zitao actually WANTED something like that?” Kris averted his eyes and just shook his head.

“I can’t believe you don’t believe me. I thought you were different.” Kyungsoo said dejectedly, unable to keep the tears out of his voice.

“Yeah? Well so did I. It appears we were both wrong.” Yifan glowered and with that Kyungsoo turned and ran.

As fast and as far as his feet could carry him.

 

*

When Yifan finally tromped back to his room he found Jongin and Tao seated in the center of his loving space, Tao looks to have calmed down a bit and Jongin sat preening as he stroked the hair of the blonde in a soothing manner.

“Why the fuck are you here?” Yifan growled.

“Well someone had to care for baby here, his wounds are still a bit fresh. Kyungsoo’s handiwork is pretty impressive.” Jongin murmured, fingers tracing almost longingly along one of the stark purpled bruises that littered Zitao’s torso.

“He beat Zitao…and you’re praising him? Youre both fucking demented now get the hell out.”

“It’s all my fault really.” Jongin continued, fingers still roaming, but his eyes turned to Kris as if he hadn’t just heard the other male speak. “I never did teach him much about after care. We were a bit too, uh, absorbed in eachother to bother.”

“To us it was something like a badge of honor.” Jongin turned his eyes to Zitao. “None, or at least not many, were put on by mouth were they?”

Zitao’s eyes flitted over to Yifan and then back to Jongin who was still gazing at him expectantly until he choked out a strangled ‘no’. The answer seemed to please the brunette.

“What then?” he fingered the bruise just below his collar bone next.

“Flo—flogger.” Zitao stuttered out nervously.

“A flogger? Interesting. I assume you showed an interest in this particular item and it’s why he chose it. Kyungsoo did always have a gift with knowing precisely what may match a person’s mood.” Jongin smiled conspiratorially.

Yifan took in the conversation. Flogger….wasn’t that some sort of demented sex toy?

He was the one who asked for it.

Then why was Zitao crying the moment Yifan had asked?

“I suspect your boytoy here was a little ashamed that someone had finally given what he’d sought and that it wasn’t you considering he practically besotted with you. Can you imagine it? Being in love with someone who’s far too gentle for your more animalistic tastes and the guy’s _boyfriend_ fucks you better than he does even when he’s two timing?” Jongin said crudely and Zitao’s eyes widened as he stumbled away from Jongin, wide frightened eyes flitting over to Yifan.

And then Zitao fled to the safety of Yifan’s bedroom, door shutting firmly behind him.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying your submissive was unhappy with his dominant and sought proper relief elsewhere in the form of one Do Kyungsoo.” Jongin sighed, making his way to the balcony.

“He was probably too embarrassed to tell you. You might think he was disgusting or some such nonsense. He doesn’t realize you return his feelings.”

“I’m in love with Kyungoo NOT Zitao.” Kris huffed loudly.

“No, you’re DATING Kyungsoo. Poorly at that considering you’re using him to try and normalize what you feel for Zitao. I know. I’ve seen it before. Kyungsoo always lets himself be the bargaining chip for someone else’s love story. It’s a terribly bad habit of his. In the end….he always gets laid to the wayside.”

“Jongin…”

At this the boy turns his head to him.

“How do you know Kyungsoo? I mean—what…what are you to him?”

At this, Jongin simply bows his head, a slow bitter smile forming as he looks anywhere but at Yifan.

 “I wish I knew that myself, Yifan. I really do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a semi-short chapter! It's heating up peeps! Tell me what you think of my Kaisoo angst there at the end. Don't worry the story is only going to go deeper although....I may be adding another tag soon lol.


	17. Too Much And Not Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains triggers and mentions of self harm. Please be aware.

Zitao had barricaded himself in Yifan’s bathroom. Quite possibly the worst place he could ever hope to be given the state of things. Especially with Kris pleading on the other side of the door, heavy fists banging on the door in a mixed plea of both tired and angry. Possibly confused. Zitao didn’t blame him. He had, essentially, cried wolf. Crying was just about he felt good at doing, if the red rimmed eyes staring back in him in the ridiculously large bathroom mirror were anything to go by.

Kris should just go back to his beautiful owl eyed boyfriend and apologize because Zitao was an idiot. Or at least he felt as such. Yet…

“Tao-ah, please come out.” Yifan’s voice was hoarse and tired, almost to the point of sounding weak. Like the way he sounded just after fucking. He’d been at this for what felt like hours but was probably only thirty minutes and Zitao was trying to find some way to put some steel in his spine…some way to face what he never wanted to face.

Fucking Kim Jongin. He’s an asshole if there ever was one. He sure as hell didn’t deserve Kyungsoo. Even if Tao felt he didn’t belong with Yifan. Then again, Zitao felt no one was good enough for Kris. Not even himself… but he was selfish, so very selfish.

It was time to stop being so selfish.

Swallowing the lump in his throat that formed at just the thought he quietly turned the lock, then the handle, eyes averted as he stepped out into the room, where he might as well tripped over Yifan who had been slumped against the door and was now peering up at him. Scrambling to his feet, Kris loomed over him once more, mere inches, but necessary inches, separated their bodies. Zitao did not deserve to be comforted. Even he knew that.

The room began to close in on him as a heavy silence filled the small space between them. There would be no more talking with their bodies. Kris had made it perfectly clear to Zitao when they started that it would be simply for mutual physical pleasure, and nothing beyond that. Nothing that could cross a professional line in public. Nothing that would hinder him from making connections to someone more suitable. Nothing that would give any hint that his sexual appetite ranged anywhere near outside of the norm. And now, Tao sighed, he had ruined it all.

He had ruined it so very long ago. By falling in love with Wu Yifan. His boss, his dominant, his lover….he was everything but what Tao needed him to be.

“Are you okay?” Yifan’s voice sounded, deep and cautious as if he were going to spook a horse about to bolt. Tao felt a little insulted if he were honest and he capitalized on the righteous feeling.

“I’m fine.” He murmured and set about gathering his things, clothing and the like. He had only his pants and belt in hand before Yifan spoke again as he was routing around for his shirt.

“Where are you going?”

“If it isn’t obvious, I’m leaving.” Tao huffed out. Anger. He needed to hold onto that feeling.

“Why?” the taller male was genuinely baffled.

“We’ve crossed the line, haven’t we? Isn’t this it?” Zitao’s voice cracked somewhere near the end as he reached for his shirt near the end of the sofa.

“Zitao, be reasonable for once. Don’t let emotion rule your head. We need to talk.”

This was it, this was the line that broke Zitao in more ways than one.

“ABOUT WHAT, YIFAN?!” He whipped around to face Kris, who stood with his hands tucked into his pockets, tall form silhouetted against the horizon. Oh how he’d miss that familiar scene. But it was time, Tao needed this as much as he knew Yifan needed it.

“About how you’ve been two timing Kyungsoo? About how you date him and then fuck me? About how I actually liked what he did to me?” Tao laughed, a noise that sounded bitter and twisted even to his own ears.

“Or about how I’ve been in love with you all this time, despite all that?” he half whispered and when he looked up and met Yifan’s softened eyes. Pity. That’s all it was, Zitao told himself. Don’t hope. That’s what got you in this mess.

“About how I’m not what you need? About how we’re…I’m not normal for wanting and liking the things I do? About you see a therapist so you can ‘wean yourself off of me’?”

“Zitao…” Kris clucked, hands dropping out of his pockets and moving towards him.

“STOP!” the blonde shouted, and Yifan froze in his tracks, staring at what must surely be a petrified looking Tao.

“Just stop it all. Life would be easier if I just weren’t around. You could be normal. You could be what you want. What Kyungsoo deserves. It’s me, I’M the cancer to your otherwise perfect life. That’s…that’s why I’m leaving. Why stay where I’m not wanted?”

“Who said you weren’t wanted?” Kris murmured, eyes beseeching Tao’s own and Tao forced himself to return the gaze. “You said you loved me.”

“It’s not enough for me anymore, Yifan. A one sided love….physical affection…it’s not what I want. I… I can’t stay.” Zitao grasped, trying to explain, trying to escape as he drew closer to the door in small steps.

“Who says it’s one sided?” Yifan moved towards him once more.

“Do you love me then?” the smaller male asked, trying to keep his voice clear of anything that was akin to hope.

Yifan had drawn insufferably close, cornering Tao against the door, caging him in with his body, his breath hot and familiar.

“I don’t know.”

Tao closed his eyes, he had to keep the hurt out of them, had to keep the tears from spilling in Yifan’s presence.

“I’m sorry, but that’s just not enough.” His hand fit around the handle as he gave it a turn and slipped out, running down the corridor with abandon, never looking back to see if Kris was chasing him because his heart feared both possible answers.

 

*

 

Jongin had meandered down every corridor in something akin to haste, but never in a million years had he expected to find Kyungsoo at the place in which he found him.

It wasn’t Kyungsoo’s presence in the familiar, yet abandoned, practice room that alarmed him but rather the significant amount of blood and seemingly frantic, pale faced version of the boy he’d once knew. When his eyes alighted on Jongin, he began speaking in a language Jongin had identified as Chinese but was so rapid he could barely make out a few words.

It was then that Chanyeol came storming in. Followed by Baekhyun of all people.

“It’s okay, Soo. I’m here, we’re here. Come back to us Soo. Fuck what do we do?” Baekhyun was cradling the rapidly deteriorating male, wrist clamped over the most visible wound on his wrist but there was too much blood for it to be one injury.

“Luhan. We need Luhan.”

“He’s out of the country, Chanyeol. Visiting the Wang family superiors to please Mommy and Daddy?”

“This isn’t good. This really, I don’t know. Phone Luhan at least, maybe his voice can get him to calm down. I mean it’s a conditioned response, Luhan has to be able to do something….”

Baekhyun set to dialing something on his phone when Jongin decided to finally insert himself. He wrenched Kyungsoo from the pair’s grip. Scooping him up bridal style he glanced down at Chanyeol.

“It’s a conditioned response to the sight of blood yes?” Jongin asked, in search of confirmation. Chanyeol only nodded dumbly in panic and shock.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of Kyungsoo. Just keep yourself busy for the night.”

“Wha—what do you plan to do?”

Jongin looked down at the pale boy muttering in a quiet, half-hearted Chinese.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this didn't get too confusing. This chapter was a bit Taoris-centric. But I finally made the panic scene happen. So for those confused, Kyungsoo is conditioned to panic at the sight of blood. He was conditioned by Luhan. As to WHY you will find out next chapter. We dive a bit deeper into why Kyungsoo is....seemingly psychotic lol. And Dr. Yixing will make his debut! Because SooLay feels are adorable (except this isn't a Soo-Lay fic so....it's just a platonic....semi platonic....bromance....maybe.) Anyways, tell me what you think. And as always, comments make me happy!


	18. Blood Lust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains foreplay and most importantly BLOOD in an erotic situation. If these things are triggers to you....please be warned.

Chanyeol trailed behind Jongin and the cradled Kyungsoo who was only hiccupping between a quiet muttering of Chinese, big round eyes staring up at Jongin. Chanyeol unlocked the door and held the heavy wooden barrier open wide enough for Jongin to carry Kyungsoo through.

Once Jongin had laid Kyungsoo on the bed (how he knew which was which, Chanyeol wouldn’t even dare to question) he didn’t even bother turning to Chanyeol before ordering him to leave the room with a simple: “Out.”

“How will I know when to comeback?” Chanyeol stuttered. Jongin smiled, eyes still not leaving Kyungsoo and he tugged his fancy name brand tee up and over his head.

“I suggest you find an alternative location to spend the night.” Jongin smirked.

“Right…” Chanyeol flushed at the insinuation.

“If you can manage that schoolgirl blush of yours, Baekhyun has no roommate. Tell him I sent you. He won’t refuse you of all people anyway.”

Chanyeol swallowed and with a quiet nod let the door click shut, the lock sounding heavy behind it.

 

*

 

Jongin eyed Kyungsoo who was silent now that they were alone. The same boy who had always stared up at him with those beautiful wide eyes, obedient and yet defiant was somewhere else in his head entirely. His body may be present but his mind was not. Jongin had the unpleasant yet oddly appealing task of bringing him back to something and somewhere familiar. The quickest way to do that was to get Kyungsoo beneath him once more.

But first he had to fix this reaction to the sight of blood problem. Jongin made slow, languorous movements so as not to startle the boy, gripping his shirt from earlier in his hand.

“Soo-ah…” Jongin called out to the smaller male whose eyes remained indifferent as Jongin inched towards him. He was becoming exceedingly more cautious the closer Jongin moved toward him.

“Soo-ah, you’re not scared of me are you? It’s me, Jonginnie.” Jongin chuckled, moving into the small space between Kyungsoo’s legs. So far so good.

“Soo-ah.” Jongin’s voice takes on what he hopes is a commanding edge, although he’s really scared as fuck with Kyungsoo bleeding all over like that.

“Did I tell you to do such things?” He motions to the wound on Kyungsoo’s wrist. Kyungsoo looks down almost involuntarily, when his attention had previously been rapt on Jongin’s advancing form.

Looking up at Jongin, eyes glassy and tears threatening to spill over, Kyungsoo shakes his head and Jongin almost caves right then and there but he knows this is not what Kyungsoo needs. What Kyungsoo needs is catharsis, and a healthy way to deal with shit in his life so he doesn’t have to resort….to whatever the fuck this is. It makes a giant lump of guilt form in Jongin’s throat that is quickly sinking into his stomach as he realizes he may be, somehow, the root cause of all this.

But instead of breaking down he rallies, letting his anger out in small bits as he stomps over the last few steps and takes Kyungsoo’s wrist in hand, wrapping it with his shirt to staunch any active bleeding. Kyungsoo’s lower lip is trembling and Jongin’s gaze doesn’t relent as the tears spill over and Kyungsoo begins to sob.

“I’m s-s-sorry, Nini. I’ll b- be a go-o-od boy for you tonight, I sw-swear.”  

Jongin is pulling him and crushing the smaller boy to his body, unable to control the impulse despite knowing he’s supposed to be setting some sort of plan, some sort of punishment, some kind of fucked up re-train into motion. But this is all Jongin has ever wanted in the last three years of his life.

And in this moment, he can’t help himself.

It felt like an eternity that he had Kyungsoo in his arms, muffling the sounds of Kyungsoo’s pathetic sobs against his bare torso, the tears leaking into the waistband of his boxers. But there was a point at which Jongin knows he has to part with the nostalgia to make Kyungsoo alright again. Or at least a little less fucked up than when he had found him.

He was just the lesser of two evils right now.

Still he needed to help rehabilitate Kyungsoo and there was only one surefire way that he knew would work, as it before time and time again.

His fingers sunk into hair just above Kyungsoo’s nape, pulling on it roughly, yanking Kyungsoo’s head back, tears still in his eyes, doing a shit job of not ugly crying.

It didn’t help that Jongin still found him incredibly beautiful. Nor could he ignore the little whimper of pleasure that escaped Kyungsoo when he’d taken control.

“Enough, Soo. Good boys don’t do this to themselves.” Jongin reached for Kyungsoo’s wrist, waving it in the air before tossing it down roughly, as if in disgust.

“Blood play is something you’re not experienced in I assume. It’s for me to do to you alone, during our private time. Do you understand, Kyungsoo?”

He watched as Kyungsoo’s panic began to set into his eyes again. He gave a sharp tug to Kyungsoo’s nape once more to bring him back. Kyungsoo’s hands rose to cover Jongin’s to try and ease the pain a bit, but the smaller male nodded.

“Use your words Kyungsoo. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Nini.” Kyungsoo said, voice small and hollow sounding. Jongin released his hold of Kyungsoo and moved to grip the hem of the younger male’s shirt when Kyungsoo’s own pale hands flew to meet him, moving to stop him. ‘ _But Kyungsoo wouldn’t dare…’_ so at this Jongin’s eyes, sharp and assessing, eyebrow arched at the challenge.

“Let go, Kyungsoo.” Jongin’s voice rumbled low and deep, the sound that commanded Kyungsoo to listen and never failed.

Kyungsoo’s eyes held his for a few moments before his grip lightened, letting his arms dangle uselessly at his side, making Jongin’s task that much harder, since he wasn’t being very accommodating.

Pushing his back against the mattress Jongin moved to straddle Kyungsoo, before moving the dark shirt up Kyungsoo’s pale skin. Jongin’s eyes were eating up every inch as he bared the smaller boy beneath him, taking care to note all changes, Kyungsoo was achingly silent, eyes focused on anything but Jongin though his body was pliant. It was when Jongin reached Soo’s ribs that his breath hitched a bit and Kyungsoo began to whimper lowly.

Scars, so many little horizontal lines littered Kyungsoo’s sides, the skin having formed raised scars in some places. The lump was back in Jongin’s throat as he moved to brush his fingers across them, he wanted to kiss them all away but all he could do was be strong for Kyungsoo and make sure he never did shit like this again.

He wished he could cure Kyungsoo of everything he’d been through.

“Did you do these too?” Jongin asked, voice working to remain level. Kyungsoo does a slow nod, eyes full of unshed tears.

“Where is the blade?”

Kyungsoo throws an arm over his eyes at the question but points to the edge of the bed his legs were dangling over. Jongin moves off of him momentarily to reach a searching hand under the mattress when he brushed against a cool metal object. He withdrew the well-worn looking silver colored scalpel. A medical blade no less. _Trust Kyungsoo to be thorough and professional in all aspects…_

He pried Kyungsoo’s arms from over his eyes, the wide glassy eyes staring up at Jongin who was hovering over him once more, scalpel in hand. Ensuring he had Kyungsoo’s attention, he busied himself with uncapping the blade. Holding Kyungsoo’s gaze he ran the little bit of silver across his palm letting out a hiss at the biting sting of it sliding across his skin. His hand was doing a slow trickle of red, the color drawing Kyungsoo’s wide, panicked eyes to the sight.

Jongin didn’t pay this any mind, wrapping his now wounded hand around Kyungsoo’s injured wrist as he worked at the button of Kyungsoo’s pants.

“Jongin…” Kyungsoo’s voice whined, eyes still wide and intently focused on his fresh injury. Once more though Jongin ignored him until Kyungsoo attempted to reach over with his other hand to tend to the wound.

“I didn’t say to move, Soo-ah.” Jongin’s voice growled. The smaller male halted his actions, meeting the brunette’s gaze. Jongin averted his eyes after a few moments of heavy silence that was charged with a familiar, delicious tension.

“Now part of me is forever swimming in you...” Jongin smiled at where his bleeding palm was wrapped around Kyungsoo’s wrist, little droplets trailing down. “…and part of you will always be with me.”

Kyungsoo swallowed audibly at this as Jongin pushed the rest of his pants down his legs, where they were stuck at his knees. Baring Kyungsoo’s body to the air, and Jongin’s gaze was nothing new but it had always made Kyungsoo self-conscious when Jongin inspected him, especially knowing he would not find things the same as the last time he’d touched him. Scars, little and deep littered not only his ribs but his inner thighs as well, though Jongin was mouthing at these now before wrapping the same bleeding palm around Kyungsoo’s growing erection. His eyes go wide seeing the odd color it turns his skin, the fluid slick like spit.

“Nini!” he gasps. “That’s dirty.”

Jongin chuckles at this and that irritatingly beautiful smirk Kyungsoo knows so well, look up at him from between his legs yet not stilling his movements.

“Since when has that bothered you?” He returns his eyes to watch in near fascination how the his palm stings as he slides it up and down the silky skin of Kyungsoo’s cock.

“It’s just….doesn’t that hurt?” Kyungsoo whimpers, half in growing pleasure and half in protest. Jongin smiles at the concern he hears in Kyungsoo’s voice. It won’t last, it probably isn’t even real but right here, right now, in this very moment, Jongin could pretend. He could pretend that Kyungsoo would care for him again, would be kind to him, despite knowing he didn’t deserve it.

“You tell me, does it hurt, Soo-ah?” Jongin smiles through the harsh tone in his voice. It was a punishment and a reward all rolled into one. Jongin could see he was confusing Kyungsoo, but he couldn’t help himself. Seeing Kyungsoo contorted in pleasure was dominating his brain, despite the fact that he should probably deny him the chance to finish.

Kyungsoo shakes his head slightly in answer to Jongin’s question.

“Why do you do it?” Jongin breathes out as he withdraws to push his pants down his thighs and draw Kyungsoo’s fully off, he does so quickly to be over Kyungsoo’s small form once more.

Kyungsoo shrugs as an answer but Jongin can see the words forming on his lips.

“It’s like….catharsis.” Kyungsoo mumbles and Jongin can only hear him because he’s leaning in to mouth at Kyungsoo’s neck. He grinds his hips in and down in a rough, almost unbearable movement, the pressure and pure friction drawing a long hitch of breath from both of them. He continued in slow punishing drags, bare cocks biting into the soft fleshy parts of the other.

“Nini…” Kyungsoo gasps, fingers fisting into the sheets and Jongin recognizes that tone so he slips off and squeezes the base of Soo’s dick hard making the smaller whine.

“You’ve grown so pathetic Soo-ah. You act like no one has touched you in my absence.” Jongin tuts.

“So undisciplined.”

Kyungsoo squirms under his hold. Reaching up, he rips Kyungsoo’s shirt up to bind at his wrists, folding and twisting it until arms are imprisoned over his head. His eyes scan the room, looking for something inconspicuous, something else he could use.

“Under the bed. Suitcase.” Kyungsoo offers and Jongin lowers himself to a crouch to see a small doctor like suitcase and clicks the container open. Therein lie a small collection of toys Kyungsoo was once so fond of, Jongin smiles.

“Old habits die hard, don’t they, Soo-ah?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Foreplay has arrived! LOL. Idk if I want to make this a full on smut scene or not.....maybe my readers can let me know. Also next chapter is also going to include Baekyeol (because they are like my second fave OTP in Exo)! Let me know what you thought! Also....I know I promised Doctor Yixing would show up this chapter but he wont come til a bit later since I broke up the smut. Anyhow....comments are life! Thanks for reading and let me hear your thoughts!


	19. Sleepless Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter with a hint of Baekyeol smut for story development purposes ^_^ enjoy and welcome back!

Chanyeol is pacing. Pacing in front of Baekhyun’s door, hesitating because it’s beyond awkward. He was trying to work up the courage to knock, his fist poised for what felt like the 12th time in the span of 10 minutes when the door popped open. Baekhyun, fluffy headed and confused, eyed Chanyeol warily.

“I don’t mean to interrupt or anything, but you’re pacing is kind of distracting. Did you need something or should I leave you to resume your… activities?”

Chanyeol always appreciated Baekhyun’s sass from afar but it was a different beats altogether when it’s directed in full at him. Not because it never had been previously, but because they’re alone for the first time in years and the weight of Baekhyun’s attention has him tripping over his own tongue.

“No—um… I actually…”

Baekhyun is looking at him expectantly and impatient, and its only now that Chanyeol takes in what Baekhyun is wearing… a stark white terry bathrobe and likely nothing else underneath it. The thought has his mouth running particularly dry but he forces the words out anyway.

“JonginkickedmeoutofmyroomandIneedaplacetostayforthenightandhetoldmetocomehere.”  The words come out in a rush without much punctuation and his fingers are sinking into his scalp in some form of comfort as Baekhyun shifts his weight from the right leg to the left.

Chanyeol isn’t sure why he notices this but Baek’s legs seem safer to look at than the rest of him with as loosely tied as the robe appears.

“And you don’t have any other options?” Baekhyun said disbelievingly.

“Not really no.” Chanyeol shakes his head, eyes still averted.

Baekhyun sighs audibly but backs further into the room, holding the door open for Chanyeol to enter. Chanyeol takes a deep breath and maneuvers past him, trying to afford any blatant contact but his frame is too large and he feels his hand brush against the towel like fabric of Baekhyun’s robe. He shirks it away as if he’d been burned and prays Baekhyun had not felt anything because that was dangerously close to the belt line.

 

Baekhyun pretends he didn’t feel Chanyeol’s hand brush against his abdomen and he also pretends it didn’t almost make his breath hitch. He eyes the giant who now seems simultaneously seems too large for the room but also like he belongs among Baekhyun’s things. It had a lump growing hard in his throat because he’s certain he wouldn’t be able to get this image out of his mind.

The problem is he doesn’t think he’ll find any 6 foot something women who look like they could pick him and throw him around when he gets mouthy. And even if he did, he’s not sure he would like it if it came without all the other attributes Park Chanyeol appears to possess.

But he wasn’t… no he couldn’t be gay. Or at the very least, he couldn’t act on those desires. He couldn’t do that to his mother. He knew what he had to do to keep the urge under wraps but… that usually included avoiding any temptation.

And Chanyeol. Alone. In his room. For a whole night. Looking at him like a lost puppy.

That was as big of a temptation as it gets.

 

Chanyeol is fidgeting and he doesn’t know what to do with himself so he draws closer to something upon which he can perch himself, the only piece of viable furniture within range being a bed or a desk chair. To be safe, he chose the desk chair but he looked longingly at the bed. He felt Baekhyun’s eyes on him and he wanted to chuckle out of pure nerves but instead he forced himself to look up at Baekhyun, face as passive as he could manage.

“Planning on showering before I arrived?” Chanyeol heard himself ask and Baekhyun breathed out a breath that seemed to be held, a smile crawling across his face that made Chanyeol’s breath retreat back into his body.

“Yeah, you have impeccable timing. Make yourself comfortable while I shower. You can go after me if you want, I have a few things you can borrow to wear though they may run a bit small.” Baekhyun gestures to a dresser near the wardrobe across the room.

“Help yourself… ah, and fair warning, I like to sing in the shower. So….there’s that.” With that Baekhyun turns and trots off to the bathroom which leaves Chanyeol poised awkwardly on the chair as he scopes out the room.  There are some letters that scatter across Baekhyun’s desk and rather than snooping, Chanyeol is polite enough to simply slump off towards the dresser.

Opening the first drawer, he notes underwear, which he closes with a blush gracing his cheeks. The second drawer is a drawer of shirts and he fishes through them until he finds something semi suitable. He ventures through the third drawer but all of Baekhyun’s pajama bottoms appear far too small for even one of his thighs to squeeze in to.

The last drawer is one he wished he’d never opened because if underwear made him blush, there’s no telling what a giant black dildo was doing to his face. He thinks the entirety of his blood must have drained from his face when he notices the shower water has stopped and the door is clicking open, so he slams the drawer shut with next to no finesse.

Baekhyun must be deaf because he looks up at Chanyeol with a blissfully ignorant face, cleaning out his ears with a towel still slung around his neck, hair mostly dry but still dripping near the ends.

In short, Chanyeol thinks he looks beautiful.

“All set?”

For a moment Chanyeol finds that words have escaped him as he takes in the fact that Baekhyun is parading around the room in nothing but a sheer white tank top far too large for his body, arm holes that are slit to reveal his sides, and boxer shorts that almost certainly have an opening near the front for….convenience.

“Yea—yeah. I think I’ll just take the shirt.” Chanyeol holds up the aforementioned garment and high tails it to the shower.

The shower doesn’t make him any less anxious nor did it last near long enough, because he imagined Baekhyun was up waiting for him to explain sleeping arrangements. Once finished he towels off and slips back into the boxers he was previously wearing. Not wanting to wet the dry shirt, he leaves the bathroom just like that, still rubbing at his wet, red locks.

 

Baekhyun tries to keep his eyes averted when he hears the shower door click open, Chanyeol’s feet padding into the room with telltale heavy thuds. We he does allow himself a peek he finds his breath nearly snatched from him, which results in blankly averting his eyes back at the laptop screen perched on his desk as he makes himself smaller on his chair.

He shirtless. Oh fuck. He’s shirtless and WET.

“You, uh, you sure the shirt will fit?” Baekhyun tries, hoping that mentioning the garment will entice Chanyeol to throw it on.

Chanyeol looks down at him, a sheepish grin on his face.

“Yeah….it, uh, it should be fine. So how’s this sleeping thing going –“

The giant’s voice is muffled as he tries to draw the tee over his head but it gets stuck somewhere near his rib cage. Baekhyun sighs and tries hard to keep the laughter out of his reprimand.

“I told you to make sure it would fit.”

Chanyeol’s response is muffled by fabric as he tries to pull it back up and over his head but his arms are impaired.

“Do you need help?”

Chanyeol’s mutated form gives a muffled affirmative.

“Come here.” Baekhyun leads him closer to the bed because this requires Baekhyun to be taller than Chanyeol which a near impossible biological feat without the help of some furniture.

He grips the tips of the near the top and is pulling but the fabric is stuck on tight and much to Baekhyun’s reluctance it means he has to pull from the bottom.

Which means his fingers will be touching Chanyeol’s bare skin. The prospect makes Baekhyun swallow dryly the large lump of temptation growing in the back of his throat as he positions his hands. Chanyeol’s body is warm and he smells like fresh soap and heat but Baekhyun tries to put that from his mind in order to stay on task. With force he yanks the fabric upwards which allows the shirt to come free, dangling somewhere near Chanyeol’s forearms.

But Baekhyun can’t really find himself caring about that when he’s currently staring at a lapful of half-naked Chanyeol pressing him against the bed.

 

Chanyeol feels like dying at the moment but his face is nestled dangerously close to the waist band of Baekhyun’s cotton boxer briefs so maybe it’s a tad more like heaven. He dares to stray his eyes upward to see Baekhyun staring at him with the same odd out of breath feel and wide round eyes that look a little too needy to ignore. He lowers his head back down to rest even against Baekhyun’s stomach, though it brings his lips in much closer proximity to Baekhyun’s dick. He can feel the base of it starting to thicken and it makes Chanyeol ridiculously proud of himself.

“Wha—what are you doing?” Baekhyun’s voice sounds wholly unsure, but strangely encouraging.

So Chanyeol’s only response is to mouth along the outline of Baekhyun’s rapidly growing erection, which earns him a whimper as his breath fans out over the cloth, stretching and pulling at the skin underneath in a way he himself would find arousing. When he reaches the tip, which is beginning to strain at the fabric he sucks into his mouth, fabric and all, earning him a full-fledged moan and a gasped “CHAN-yeol…”

One thing is for sure. Chanyeol was pretty sure he wouldn’t have to worry about sleeping arrangements, considering they probably wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally I thought I would need to scrap and restart this story but by dleeting a few useless chapters and focusing on Kaisoo and Baekyeol pairings instead of 4 major pairings I decided, not to do too much editing because the story line is still very good. I hope those who have subscribed are pleased with the Baekyeol update and next chapter will be Soo and Jongin centric. Let me know what you think! Glad to be back to this fic <3


	20. Snake in the Grass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things get rather graphic ;) *WOOT WOOT* full smut ahead *WOOT WOOT*

It’s Chanyeol’s voice he hears first when he comes to the first time.

“You seemed to have calmed him down.” Chanyeol’s comforting rumble sounds in front of him but Kyungsoo has barely managed to squint and decidedly shut his eyes once more once he recognizes the silky smooth tone of voice responding from the surprisingly warm body behind him.

“For now.” Is all Jongin offers.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” Chanyeol asks, unsure of the situation.

Jongin laughs at this. All Kyungsoo can think is ‘ _Snake…_ ’

“He won’t want me here. I’m sure of that.” Jongin’s laugh is bitter but only Kyungsoo would notice that. “He’ll likely hate himself once he figures it all out.”

It’s then that he feels Jongin’s fingers sink into his hair, sifting through the strands. If Kyungsoo opened his eyes he would paint Jongin’s face with a bemused smile. One almost convincing enough to make someone believe he cared for Kyungsoo. But Jongin cared about nothing and no one. He made sure Kyungsoo knew that.  

“Ah, well, that’s….”

Kyungsoo whips his eyes open at the sound of a knock on their door. Only it’s less of a knock and more of demanding thud requiring entrance.

“PARK CHANYEOL, YOU LET ME IN THERE THIS INSTANT OR I’LL BREAK THE DOOR DOWN!”

At the sound of the voice Kyungsoo can keep mum no longer and he jerks out of Jongin’s hold, who appears surprised Kyungsoo was awake and Chanyeol is staring in horror at the door.

“You called LUHAN?” Kyungsoo whisper shouts, eyes wild and blazing.

Chanyeol is fixing him with equally wild eyes. “We didn’t know what else to do. You were having… you know how you get. He’s usually the only one who can calm you…” Chanyeol is mumbling his way through a defense.

“PARK CHANYEOL, I’M NOT KIDDING!”

“What did you tell him?” Kyungsoo demands and Chanyeol’s ears go red and the blood starts to drain from Kyungsoo’s face.

“Chanyeol, please tell me you didn’t….”

Chanyeol’s lips draw into a thin white line and words appear to escape him.

“Uh, what exactly is going on…?” Jongin wonders aloud and it’s then that he hears the threat belying Luhan’s words.

“I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL RIP THAT BITCH TO SHREDS. PARK.CHAN.YEOL!! Don’t you dare defend them Soo-ah.” Luhan is pounding away at the door and Jongin’s face goes pale a tad before he’s looking at Soo and gesturing to himself.

“Does he mean me?”

Kyungsoo pointedly ignores this in favor of piercing Chanyeol with a glare and glancing about the room wildly before his eyes settle on the bathroom. Then he’s up and pulling Jongin along with him by the wrist.

The gesture makes Jongin wince and Kyungsoo looks down to see the fresh incision there but doesn’t say a word before he’s gesturing to a small square window.

“Out. Now.”

Jongin looks unimpressed and fixes Kyungsoo with a snort. But Kyungsoo merely glances back over his shoulder.

“Are you serious?” Jongin asks, because he’s certain Kyungsoo has lost his damn mind. “We’re on the third floor!”

“There’s a balcony just below us, don’t be dramatic. We don’t have the time.”

They hear the door opening and Kyungsoo is moving to start the shower in a rush, and begins pulling at the garments that clothe him. But Jongin is still in the room and Kyungsoo sends him a beseeching look before they hear a jiggle of the bathroom door handle. Luhan’s voice is now insisting that Kyungsoo let him in right this instant.

Jongin’s eyes widen and before he can process his own actions, he’s hoisting himself through the tiny square window. It’s when he has lowered himself almost completely out of sight when he feels the light grip on his wrist, halting his motions. Kyungsoo is pressing a rolled bandage into his hand. They stare at eachother for a few moments and so much is flying between them but all the words go unsaid.

“Thanks.”  The shorter male murmurs and with that a shirtless Kyungsoo is shutting the window and Jongin finds himself dangling from the precipice of disaster, both literally and figuratively.

 

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, turns to find himself face to face with his best friend as he’s clad in only a towel just as he’s lowered the blinds. Nakedness is a look he rather dislikes because it puts his scars on full display. Not that he minds since these two, Chanyeol and Luhan that is, already know how it is he’s received them. They _understand_. But Jongin -- he’s praying inwardly that the other male didn’t get a good look. Though after last night, he seriously doubts that. The thought is something he files away to examine later. Right now he has to deal with an almost feral looking Luhan.

“Lu.” He greets with a shaky smile, clad in only a towel. Luhan purses his lips and fixes Kyungsoo with a knowing tilt of the eyebrows.

“Cut the bullshit Kyungsoo. Where is he?”

Kyungsoo widens his eyes, the textbook picture of innocence.

“Where is who?”

“Kim Jongin.” Luhan grumbles through clenched teeth.

Kyungsoo shrugs, eyebrows raised as if perplexed.

“No idea. Why do you ask?” Kyungsoo feigns indifference, hands on his hips. Of course, Luhan knows to look through his lies so he’s shoving Kyungsoo aside which makes the younger man clamber for his towel to keep it around his waist. Luhan is pulling at the cord of the blinds and Kyungsoo says a silent prayer for Jongin to be out of sight by now.

It appears the deities have finally been kind to him for once, because Luhan is slamming the window shut where he had previously been craning his head out of, with a loud slam. He’s whirling on Kyungsoo. His eyes are angry and it low key scares Kyungsoo but he swallows the fear to approach his friend with the innocence he must portray to save both him and Jongin some skin.

Not that he cares for Kim Jongin’s skin.

Luhan is sighing, pinching the bridge of his nose, one hand on his hip before he’s glancing up at Kyungsoo, drawing closer to rest his hands on the smaller male’s shoulders.

“I’m just trying to keep you safe, Soo-ah.”

Kyungsoo smiles wider than he naturally would for Luhan’s sake, to try and help put him at ease and it appears to work but Luhan is searching his face for something. Guilt. Vulnerability. Anger. Kyungsoo feels them all and he knows Luhan can read him well enough that he can’t hide it.

“I know, hyung.”

“I really hope what I heard was a lie then.” Luhan is gentle, he’s trying not to spook Kyungsoo. “I flew back on a red eye flight because I couldn’t—I can’t leave you like that. You know that.”

“I know, hyung.” Kyungsoo works to assure him.

“So, is it true?”

Kyungsoo cocks his head to the side like a puppy would, although he’s a bit unnerved because he doesn’t really want to hear the question that he knows is coming but he doesn’t suppose the deities will bless him twice today.

“Is it true you slept with _him_?”

Kyungsoo holds his eyes and still and as wide as possible and Kyungsoo knows he can’t hide it. It looks unnatural because the words make him falter and he hasn’t processed his own failure to resist temptation himself yet let alone under the watchful eye of Luhan.

Luhan sighs, defeated.

“Soo…”

“I’m fine, Lu. I promise. I’m okay.” Kyungsoo insists and he’s returning the shoulder embrace, sending Luhan a tentative smile.

“It—it won’t happen again.”

This Kyungsoo can say with some confidence.

“Of course not.”

 

Kyungsoo is the only thing that’s on Jongin’s mind. The feelings the shorter male never failed to incite are filling his pores and diffusing the air around him in an almost suffocating manner. He feels a bit like he drowning as he replays the events of last night:

 

_“Under the bed. Suitcase.” Kyungsoo sputters._

_He looks beautiful, naked and on full display for Jongin alone. He crouches to retrieve the small suitcase Kyungsoo has alluded to and clicks it open. His current position brings him at eye level with Kyungsoo’s cock, already hard and leaking at the slight stimulation it’s received. Jongin decides this bares remark._

_“So sensitive, Soo-ah. Have you always been so receptive?” Jongin smirks, teasing as a few stray fingers dance across the skin of Kyungsoo’s upper thighs._

_Kyungsoo simply whimpers a frustrated reply until he’s flicking his tongue across the slit where a bit of precum has gathered and Kyungsoo gasps, back arching._

_“Nini!” is all that leaves his mouth. Jongin smiles to himself. He’s never done this for Kyungsoo. Their roles had always been rather clearly defined. But after so many years of longing have the lines blurred and Jongin just wants to lick Kyungsoo from head to toe to elicit that same reaction over and over again._

_He must have took too long contemplating because Kyungsoo is fidgeting and offers a rather resigned:_

_“You don’t have to, Nini.”_

_The rush in Kyungsoo’s voice, the reluctance, pricks at Jongin but he brushes the feeling off because Kyungsoo will have no use for them, not now and definitely not when he’s in his right mind._

_“Did I ask you to speak?” Jongin raised his eyebrows. Yes. This was the role he was meant to play for Kyungsoo. This and this alone._

_Kyungsoo shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut as Jongin continues to administer kitten licks the the shiny pink head of his cock._

_“Don’t you like this?” Jongin hums and Kyungsoo nods slowly. He looks like he might combust and Jongin trails a finger down, down, down….until it’s doing little ghost rings around the rim of Kyungsoo. He watches the way it puckers tightly and then relaxes until Jongin traces another. Fascinating. Beautiful. Outright sinful. Jongin is licking his lips, but his eyes haven’t left the entrance to Kyungsoo’s delicious wet, heat._

_“I… do.” Kyungsoo gasps when Jongin slips the tip of his finger in, no lube._

_“Then why are you so irritatingly silent?” Jongin asks, though it’s closer to a growl rather than a question.  Kyungsoo goes still at the tone and Jongin resists the urge to trill the words ‘good boy’, settling for a shark like smile instead._

_“You told me… not to speak.” Kyungsoo reasons._

_Jongin snorts. He can’t believe it’s boiled down to this. How could two people who had shared so much become so out of sync after practically being able to read eachother’ s minds. He can recall a time where Kyungsoo knew better what he liked than he himself did. When Kyungsoo was the one exploring and entertaining….and calming._

_“Guess I’ll just have to leave you screaming my name for the whole building to hear…” Jongin growls and he can almost hear the question poised on Kyungsoo’s tongue but it dies on his lips the moment Jongin’s mouth drags down length of him, tongue finally settling in the most private of spaces, licking at the tight muscles inside his ass._

_It left Kyungsoo breathless but he managed to splutter a strangled._

_“JON—gin.” He was hiccupping and as Jongin continued his onslaught, Kyungsoo moaned obscenely, so loud he was sure the entire floor heard. After a few licks, Jongin was smacking his lips and smiling cheekily at Kyungsoo._

_“That’s better, Soo-ah. A little louder for Nini.”_

_Kyungsoo flushes at the praise, body twitching as Jongin pushes his tongue in further, probing. Kyungsoo lets out a filthy stream of noise at the sensation and he can feel Jongin smile against his ass._

_“Good boy, Soo.” Jongin huffs, breath still hot against his hole. Kyungsoo looks wrecked but Jongin is far from done, a message he sends as licks a sloppy strip up the cleft of Soo’s ass. “You taste so good, baby… want to taste?” Jongin murmurs and Kyungsoo swallows, unable to form words so he only watches intently as Jongin drags himself up and over Kyungsoo’s body in slow motion._

_Kyungsoo doesn’t get a word out before Jongin’s tongue is tracing the seam of his heart shaped lips and delivering the taste of his own flesh, as promised._

 

Jongin is shivering reliving only half of his experience with Kyungsoo when he spies Baekhyun. Looking worse for wear, trying to slip his way out of his room without anyone noticing. Jongin smirks, knowingly.

“Well if that’s not a walk of shame, I don’t know what is…” Jongin’s voice has Baekhyun rooted to the spot as he glances up, guilty as charged, at Jongin. He suddenly grows small under Jongin’s gaze before he’s squaring his shoulders in true Baekhyun fashion.

“Well, it’s not like I’m the only one.” Baekhyun blurts, stabbing a finger at Jongin, before he marching over, swiping at the buttons of his shirt and pointing to a line of freshly purpled skin on his chest. Jongin smiles easily.

“Yes, but the difference is I’m not ashamed, I’m PROUD.” Jongin corrects.

Baekhyun retracts his finger and his hand comes to support his lower back, which Jongin is sure, if Chanyeol’s height is any indication of dick size, is in utter agony.

“Some advice: go have a soak. Your ass will thank you.” Jongin laughs wolfishly when he leaves a sputtering Baekhyun with a companionable pat on the shoulder.

“YAH! Kim Jongin! You’re a rotten bastard, ya hear? YAH!”

Baekhyun slinks away in search of a friend with a bathtub.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had hit a road block with this fic for a while but decided to keep pushing and when I sat down this is what came out. Lately rimming has been a thing for my smut lmao. (sorry, not sorry). Also that's only half of the actual Kaisoo smut. The other half you will get from Kyungsoo's point of view when he starts to reminisce in the experience. ;) Also be ready for a switch story with emphasis more on humiliation and that sort of BDSM rather than toys and pain. Though obviously, Soo is well versed in that after Jongin's abscene. So for those who aren't a fan of secret rooms this might be a good borderline BDSM fic for you. In fact I might re-tag. ANYWAY, leave comments, I love them. And I'll try to update more often now that Ive pushed myself out of the rut for this fic.


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